Think I’ll make this another edition of “Things I’ve Learned” as well.
*There are no 2 people that are ever going to agree on everything and despite what social media tries to teach us, it’s okay.
*I seem to be drawn to good people, genuine people with awesome hearts (even when we don’t agree on every single thing on Earth.) I click with people or not. I value vulnerability, a recognition that none of us get out of this life with no scars. None of us are perfect and who gets to define “perfect” anyway? (Probably no-one.)
*Though I’ve been victimized in the past, that doesn’t make me a victim. I’m a survivor. Over the last twelve or fifteen years, I’ve been working on myself a ton, (some therapy, lots of just plain old hard work getting it together and processing old stuff and figuring out who I am now.) I feel like I was stuck in a certain area of growth for many, many years and it required me to push through some things, un-bury, feel, and push through.
To the outsider I know this has looked a bit odd, and some who genuinely care about me haven’t known what was up. I finally feel like I’m coming out of a tunnel, stepping into the light. And if I can feel good about that or anything at this moment in time with all that the world is going through, it must be real.
*Remember back in the pre-internet days when we could meet someone and like them and NOT argue about everything all the time? Let’s ponder. That was friendship.
*For many, maybe most years of my life, I bent over backwards to fit in, burying my own thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Tried to always be NICE. Easy to get along with, never make trouble. I’ve let others think and speak for me for waaayyy tooo long. I don’t do that anymore. (Still pretty nice unless ya push me.) I have boundaries, oh and thoughts and opinions. They may not line up with yours.
Because I felt censored most of my life, told what to believe and what to say, I don’t take kindly to it nowadays. That means you’re probably always gonna know what I think. I described it to a friend once as “feeling like someone has always been trying to put a hand over my mouth… forever.” I’m the only one who gets to censor me now.
*One truth for me is that I believe with all of my heart that women should be treated equally with men in rights and respect. Same pay, listened to the same as men, have the same opportunities as men. Women have been treated as objects for far too long and they’ve often had better hearts, more compassion, and at times have more intelligence and qualifications than their male peers or bosses. Not always, sometimes. It needs to stop. Good men need to start standing up for good women. Standing up against their peers who would make perverted jokes about women, mistreat them, or abuse them.
Until good men stand with us, things will never change. Stop worrying about being a “bro” and start being a decent human being. As a popular comedian Hannah Gadsby once said, “Men, Pull your socks up!”
(I know some of these good men and I’m ever-so thankful for them and we need so many more.) Of course the same is true for any or every minority. Good people have got to start standing up for every minority, stand in front of them when necessary. Only then will things change. Now is not the time to stay silent in the face of hatred, bigotry, prejudice, or misogyny.
There was a sign in my kid’s bedroom while they were growing up, it said, “Stand up for what is right, even if you stand alone.” I still believe this. (And I’m proud of my kids, and I believe they have lived this out.) Character. Integrity. It matters.
Come on out into the light. It’s warm here. The sun is shining.