So, yeah. the world has gone crazy again. I deactivated my Facebook account, again. (Once again I feel like a stranger in a strange land, like a lone voice crying out in the wilderness.) All those around me are crying “Havoc!” and letting loose the dogs of war.
As I see NBA players kneeling (now more fully understanding why they do this than I ever used to) and then read the vitriolic responses of the far right, I laugh, a mirthless chuckle. The extreme right does not care to understand, does not dare to open their hearts or minds to new thoughts or information. They don’t care about compassion and understanding but they do care if anyone rubs up against their narrow POV.
If a person hides themselves away refusing to look, read, learn, know anything outside of what they have always known, they will become more and more extremist. Any time you block yourself off from wisdom or knowledge or facts, and insist on only following a finite set of information, you set yourself up for cult-like extremist behavior. It’s bound to happen. History always repeats itself. Because the lessons that should have been learned have not been learned, not at all. When you know you’re right all the time and throw in a little religious fervor, look out. And some of them don’t even need the religion, they just need a cause to launch themselves behind, no matter how hateful it is.
Let’s say the number 5000 represented all the knowledge and wisdom and factual information available to us humans today. Some people will stop at 10. Some at twenty. Some at 4000. They will stop and say “I know it all! I know everything I need to know! Don’t talk to me about anything outside of this!” and “If you believe anything outside of THIS, not only are you wrong, but you’re stupid and evil, too.”
SMDH. Humans are so funny, but not in a laughable way, not today.
I’ve had enough of extremist view points. POVs that leave out compassion, talking with and discussing things calmly and logically with others, that refuse ever ever to (heaven forbid) listen to someone else’s POV. I see it every day. If you start to say something new to them, you can see the wall clang down as their minds and hearts close off. They have already made up their minds about everything til the end of time. They require no new information. It’s fear. It’s lack of maturity. It’s close-mindedness in the extreme.
There are some who follow me who are from a more, shall we say, conservative mindset. That’s fine. I get it. I’ve come out of some of that background myself. But many of you, even family members, do not know me, haven’t been around me for many years. I got to thinking that I know them quite well because they are the same in many ways as they have always been. But they do NOT know me. If you haven’t been around me in twenty years, I guarantee you do not know me. I’ve changed and grown a ton and been through a lot. I feel as though the universe itself said “I will bang your stubborn head on a brick wall until you open your mind and listen.” (The Universe apparently not being content to just let me be.)
Maybe it needs free thinkers, open-minded folks who are teachable enough and open-minded enough to grow along with all the changes that have occurred this century. Maybe people with open minds and hearts are in short supply so I was selected, I don’t know. I only know that I am a product of my experiences, (like most) though some seem to willingly shut themselves off from new experiences.
I’ve lived in a cave (metaphorically speaking) locked away from anything other than One POV, and there is certainly comfort in it. Soft, cozy. Warm.
The real world can be cold and harsh, but out there is where the fighting is, the true struggle. The struggle to be the best YOU you can become. This does not happen without ever having everything you believe in shaken and rattled, questioned, butted about, without something forcing you to face it all. (A new motto of mine is Question Everything, and that is so different than who I used to be.)
If you are someone who cares, I’ll share a bit about myself here (and goodness knows there are tons of blog posts here you can go back over, if you care to know me better, truly. Not just think you know me.)
I am not a Democrat or a Republican (I’m a registered Independent.) For the most part I do support police and military, first-responders, etc. I come from a military family and I will always support those who defend us with their lives. There have been times when certain officers have crossed a line and gone over to the bad place, and if you are a person of color, you know this. It breaks my heart.
Those on the far right might find themselves wanting to call me a snowflake liberal. Whatevs. If it helps you sleep better to put me in that box, by all means. Snowflakes are unique individuals, beautiful. I’ll take it. I DO care about people, I am a softy, no doubt. I love all people, want to see all people cared for and loved and supported, protected, and fed. If having a big heart and Big Love makes me a liberal, then call me that.
I am a writer with a fierce imagination. If I was a youngster in this day and age, they’d likely medicate me for my active mind and imagination. It’s a plate of spaghetti up there, I kid you not. I am ALWAYS thinking (which feeds into me not being able to sleep without some kind of sleep aid.)
I’m smart, but I’m a fish so don’t ask me to climb a tree. Don’t ask me about geometry but I am fascinated with physics and want to learn more. My “no likey maths” brain struggles with some of these things. I am certainly more of a right-brainer than a left-brainer (more creative, less mathy) but I am intelligent. I have an eye for color and design. I am highly organized at times, but can be more loosey-goosey when it comes to art. I have become a person who questions everything. I do have conspiracy theories but they may be different than most people’s.
Though most of my life people have treated me like a dumb blond, I’m actually a brunette. I’ve been underestimated and patted on the head hundreds of times, maybe thousands. But I am a woman, so there ya go. This is how they treat us.
On the whole, I am against abortion, however, I know people who have had them, I’ve sat with them and heard their stories and I don’t judge. Rape, incest, other real life problems factor in. For people who have never experienced crisis in their life, it’s easy to judge. I don’t do it. Also, the government shouldn’t be allowed to tell me what to do with my body.
White privilege is real. I never really understood it before I began to meet and know people from all walks of life, began to read about and hear their stories. Privilege is real. If you are not a person of color you cannot begin to imagine what life is like for one (neither can I). Many do not have the capacity to have empathy for anyone different from themselves. The color of your skin is an accident of birth, you had no choice in it. You’d better believe it.
I never ever look down my nose at the homeless, knowing that many of them had homes and families and so-called normal lives once, and then crisis hit and knocked them for a loop. It is not for me or for you to judge. (“There but for the grace of God,” etc., etc.) If someone told you once 20 years ago that they are all drunks and druggies and to be despised, time to re-think. Heaven forbid it should happen to you. Sometimes we learn lessons in the hardest of ways.
I believe firmly that this right-wing extremism thing is caused by people shutting themselves off from reality. They grow only so far, and then no more, refusing any and all new information. They read only one kind of book, watch only one station, surround themselves with people who are much the same as them. It’s cultish and dangerous, I’ve learned that well.
Now you know more about me. I am all heart, and that heart is broken these days. It is all just too, too much. I never thought I’d live to see such times.
It’s easy to just follow, to go along with what everyone else is doing, it really is. It’s hard to stop and say, “No more. I will think for myself. I will gather information and decide for myself.” It’s so hard, and at times very lonely. But for the first time ever, these last few years have taught me exactly who I am. I know exactly what I believe. (I know way less than I ever did in some senses… I no longer feel I know everything, that’s for sure. I am uncertain about a lot and that’s okay and as it should be. But I remain in a state of continued seeking, learning, and growing.) My mind and heart is open (if skeptical.)
I don’t know why I’m here, and I don’t want any more pat answers. But I am here and I am a writer, and so I will continue to do what I do as long as I can.
I love you, people. I really, really do. I hope you all, we all, remember our love and compassion, especially in such times.
Peace Out!
