Are you a recovering control freak like me? If you are, you have some tough days ahead. If you haven’t already hit some major walls, had some major breakdowns, they’re coming—mark my word.
One of the truths of the universe, is that we, as individuals, have little-to-no control over anything—ever. In my years on planet earth, this lesson has been pounded into my head in big ways and small.
When you’re a child, you can’t wait to grow up and feel like you’re calling your own shots, doing your own thing, making your own choices… and that is kinda cool, until the larger “adult” realities begin to kick in. With great freedom comes great responsibility, and the older you get, you learn the costs of freedom. AND you learn that there are consequences to your actions.
Sometimes we make things happen in life. Sometimes we make choices with unreasonable expectations of the outcome of these decisions. We think “if I do THIS, then THIS will happen.” Sometimes that is true. Sometimes it isn’t. Because wisdom is learning that you can plan all you want, and sometimes we just do NOT have control of things. Life happens, chaos happens and the bad decisions and choices of others in the world can have a negative outcome for you and I.
“If I get in my car and drive carefully to the store, I’ll get back home safely and in a timely manner.” Well, maybe.
“If I do my work, then everything else will fall into place. I assume everyone else is going to do what they’re supposed to, what I want them to do, and it will all be fine.” We all know what assumptions cause. Major amounts of grief. Assumptions and expectations seem to be at the root of all pain and misery.
If you are deluded into thinking you can change or control someone else, you’re in for a world of hurt. If you think you have absolute control over your life, think again.
So, in the end, when we hit those walls, when we realize that things did NOT go according to plan, when we’re faced with the hard truth that we control NOTHING, the best we can do is scream and cry and then let it go. LET IT GO.
Growing up means that you learn that sometimes you just want to pop down to the store and be home in ten minutes and it works out that way, and sometimes you hit major traffic jams, someone tries to run you off the road, there are not enough cashiers at the check-outs, and on the way home you’re rear-ended, Just for an example. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, life just doesn’t go your way.
This control thing has come back to the forefront for me over and over and over again, because if you don’t learn a lesson, life keeps teaching it to you UNTIL YOU GET IT.
Man plans, God laughs, it’s a truth. Accept it. Let go of control. Don’t try to change others. Stop expecting perfection of yourself and others. LET IT GO. If you don’t, you’re headed for a breakdown.
MARK MY WORDS.