How I feel TODAY (September 10) and also, coping with fear and crisis

The world cracks and I end up in my bubble, cocooning, then watch so much crime TV that I’m stressed out all over again. Why do I do it? I do so love my detective stories. Most recently a lot of Brit Box and Acorn TV stuff.

I was thinking earlier today about how we all respond so differently to crisis. Fight or Flight broken down into many subcategories. Some run away, some fight by angry posts and fear-mongering, themselves overwhelmed by their own fear and confusion, up to and including violent outbursts. Some need to figure out and fall back and study everything, trying to find answers, weed through the crap-ton of crap and wheedle out a bit of truth. Some hide away completely. Some lose their ability to cope entirely. Some fear the end of all things and give in to the “The Sky is Falling” mentality.

Soooo much change these days. Look at just the change of going from a society without internet to a society WITH it. MAJOR change. We are bombarded with information day & night, and unfortunately, we have as much constant access to BS and conspiracy theories and extremist rants as to anything resembling reality. And it’s blasted hard for most to tell the difference. Our fears are played on, we’re manipulated and dance to tunes we never should be listening to. The only way I cope is by Zooming Out.

It’s good to step back, get away from all the noise and get your own senses in order again. It’s also good to protect yourself from the madness all around us.

I think planet Earth has been around a very long time and will be here long after this current crisis has come and gone, and may indeed still be around after we humans kill ourselves off. Civilizations rise and fall, it has always been thus. I think if planet Earth feels like we’re warring against her, she may very well win the battle in the end. We’re a plague of locusts to her.

I’ve come to believe that most truth is to be found in scientific provable fact. It gets difficult when fact is hard to winnow out and we begin to mistrust everything and everyone. Many fall back on their faith systems because, well, they’ve been taught to for one, and also they have no utter idea how else to cope but to hope and pray that something or someone somewhere (ie their God) is on top of things and in control. Cuz dammit someone needs to be. We don’t like it when we feel that things are out of control; never have, never will.

When I began to deconstruct out of my earlier faith system and worldview, it was scary, as HELL. I used to believe that I was super-protected by an invisible force. As I began to disbelieve that, it rocked my world. It’s the easiest thing in the world to run and hide and be afraid of everyone and everything, (and I was going through all of this way before we ever heard of Covid-19, a whole other reason to be shaken or frightened.) It started as much as twelve or fifteen years ago.

But life is scary, WAS scary even before the pandemic. It always will be. It takes courage indeed to press on when all you’ve ever thought to be real, comes crashing down around you. I know I’m not the only one who has experienced this in one way or another. Maybe your faith system hasn’t changed but your world has been rocked by things happening we all never believed could happen. By our constant access to negativity, fear-mongering, and way too much information coming at us all at once. In some way, we’ve all been shaken.

But. Strangely, I have found peace. I find peace in art. In the ocean. In the eyes and faces and hearts of some truly beautiful people. I find it by turning OFF the noise and social media (for the most part) and hearing from individuals. By people helping people to cope and get through. There are still so many good folks in this world. Hurting, confused, but good. We have to help each other through this, but with love, compassion and a listening ear. Put away the biased rants, the blame-game, and just hug someone, just love someone.

I was once so afraid to let anyone IN. I still kinda can be. But if we ever needed each other, it’s now.

Hope floats. Love heals. Peace wins.

Peace Out.