To Be

 

He’s out there, replacing deck boards and sweating.

I’m in here, trying to recover from bronchitis. Trying to write something.

My banana is half-eaten, looking forlorn. It doesn’t satisfy my hunger.

I think no food will.

Do we all have deep hunger? Is it what drives us to do everything we do? For those of us who analyze it all, yes. What will fit this hole so expertly to make it no longer gape? Is it God? Stillness? Peace?

Is it a thing or the absence of a thing? Do I need to add something or take something away in order to be perfectly whole?

Think of the many things that you try to fill yourself up with, list them in your mind. Is it working? I’d really love to know.

Why are we bombarded with the message that we must be perfect, whole, happy, at peace, and then everyone tells us their way to do this. I just want to be.

I just want to BE.