I have always sought beauty truth and love and have tried to be as genuine as I knew how to be at whatever point in my life I found myself. You do what you know to do, like Maya said, when you know better, you do better.
I’ve learned so much over the past several years, it’s amazing what comes to you straight from God/the universe when you tune out all the noise. There was a time when isolating myself would’ve brought me destruction but this time it brought me salvation in its truest sense.
Why is it that I am now in my early fifties I see so much clearer than I ever have? It’s hard to have any kind of spiritual experience, epiphany or paradigm shift without everyone around you blanching and fleeing. Such experiences are as personal as your own blood and DNA and often cannot be fully related to others, I’ve learned to accept that. I don’t know why I feel such a need for others, particularly those I care about, to understand me, but I am now settling for acceptance and I’m also allowing that those who need to leave my life are going and new ones are pouring in every day. Finding a new tribe at this juncture in my life… who knew? And I love the ones leaving enough to let them go, want them to, even. And I welcome my new friends with open arms and an open heart.
This path I’m living and walking down is so full of wonder, joy, and contentment and that is because I’ve been blessed with love and care in my life and creative outlets that keep me sane. I’m a recovering people-pleaser who has been set free and I’ve learned that more people than ever connect with me when I’m my truest, realist, most vulnerable self.
Anytime you do something creative you are putting yourself out there—wide open to the judgment of others. Writing, painting, poetry, all of those things, can feel as though you’ve emptied your very heart and served it up on a platter. Then comes the tough part of seeing how others react to that, to the things birthed out of your very soul. It’s not an easy life if you are sensitive (and by and large Creatives are very sensitive), so we must develop the thickness of skin to let criticism fall away (from those who just don’t get it) secure in the knowledge that those who DO get it, they are your audience, your target. You WILL find those who love and appreciate both who you are and what you do.
To my fellow Creatives out there, if you’re feeling unloved and misunderstood, welcome to the wonderful world of Creativity! It can hurt sometimes, but you’re gonna love it. Press on, don’t listen to nay-sayers, follow your passion.