Blog June 3, 2020

I have (at least temporarily) deactivated my Facebook account. It is an arena that I am going to decline to participate in any longer, maybe permanently, not sure. I finally asked myself. “If you went into a room every day and someone punched you in the gut each day, would you keep going into that room?” My answer was no, that would not be wise.

Some of my frustration word vomit for the day:

Me: I am horrified at what’s happening in the world, the murder of George Floyd. It’s horrible.”

The world: “Don’t say that.”

Me: “Don’t say what?”

The world: “Don’t say it’s horrible, say this instead.”

Me: “Um… huh?”

The world: “Don’t say this, say that.”

Me: “Stop- telling me what to say!”

The world: “Don’t talk about it.”

Me: “Huh?”

The world: “But whatever you do, don’t be silent.”

Tons of white girls: “We know what you are to say and do. Do this.”

Other people of all backgrounds: “No, don’t do or say that. It’s offensive and wrong.”

Me: *face-palming* “Stop it!!”

And that explains my life lately.

But ultimately, it isn’t about me and I recognize that. As with all things, each person handles it differently. What I can no longer do, though, is be told what to do and what not to do every day by fifty random people, all of which tell me to do something different. No, thanks.

So I will default to just me being me the best way I know how. That’s my wheelhouse.

Don’t tell me who I am based on my skin color, if you didn’t notice, EVERYone hates that. If you truly don’t want to hear what I have to say then don’t read what I have to say. Simple enough, right? Right. Thanks. Moving on.

Meanwhile, Covid 19 is being summarily ignored as if it no longer exists. Our county seems to have levelled off at least, so that is good news. This week I am returning to my doc appointments, trying to get caught up there. The mask/no mask battle rages and frankly I don’t care what you think about it, you do you. I am going to wear a mask. The doctor’s offices I am going to have asked me to wear them and I am going to comply. I am also going to wash my mask regularly because that’s just good sense.

Tense, horrible times we live in. And ultimately people who follow blindly are my biggest source of stress.(It being a given that hatred and murder suck.) I cannot be around those who think DT is the second coming. I just can’t. I will blow a blood vessel. 

So. Not much else to say today, except that I am hoping, vibing, praying for change. I will continue to love and to hold out hope because ultimately what else can you do?

Peace Out