Good morning, world. I’m doing a lot of blogging these days, I guess because of feeling so very isolated. It helps, somehow. Even if nobody reads it, it helps to get things down and out of the head and heart.
Some days I’m a confident queen, sure of myself and all that I am and where I’m going and some days I find myself with more doubt and fear. I suppose that’s normal and happens to everyone. Sometimes I think it’s my own perfectionistic ways that make me feel like I have to be on top every single day, flying high. I know this isn’t true. Some days I need to allow myself to hide under the covers and rest and heal and not worry about much.
My illness seems to have cleared, only the mildest of coughs left. I have to say that the feeling of an elephant on my chest was the worst I ever remember experiencing and I’ve had lung mess off and on throughout my life. I’m so pleased it’s gone away. Now it’s all about watching what happens with the world at large with the virus. Our governor was on TV last night discussing Phase One of trying to get back to normal. He is being more conservative than in Georgia and other states, so right now is a time to wait and watch for me. At this point in the pandemic, I am finding it in myself to have grace with people doing whatever they need to do. If they feel like a healthy person that is not at high risk and feel the need to go to the salon or the beach or go eat outside at a beach restaurant, I’m gonna keep my mouth closed and my eyes open. At some point, we will all have to step back out, so to each their own.
I do consider myself high risk and have already been sick but don’t know for sure if our bodies will properly build any immunity on their own. For this reason I choose to be more cautious than others might.
For the first time, yesterday and today, I feel like we can see the light at the end of this. That tomorrow will come and life will get back to normal and that maybe it will not take a year or more. It feels like a huge sigh throughout my entire body. And still I am in wait-n-see mode over the next couple weeks and months. I still need to protect myself from “high drama” so that will continue. Anyone making me crazy will be unfollowed.
Today is not so “go, go, go! Conquer the world!” with my mental state but more a self-care day where I look out for the mental and emotional wellbeing of myself and my hubs. And this is fine with me. I’m going to try to get in some exercise and some sun today as our pollen count is supposed to be low for the first time in a long while.
If you’re reading this, I hope you have an amazing day full of light and grace and love and wellbeing. Take care of yourselves.
Peace Out