virus – Pamela Swyers

Haven’t blogged in a while, been plugging away writing a book. (I actually have 2 in process but the latest one is my first non-fiction). Once these are done this will put me at 14 books written and published I believe, not counting the anthologies my publishing company published. It’s helpful to write these things out, keeps me motivated, keeps me running toward the finish line.

I never really need motivation or inspiration to write, (or to do art) but what I need is the motivation to SELL. This is where my biggest challenge lies. It has always been thus.

My art journaling has only ever been for me (it’s therapy for me, big time), but I do have some acrylic on canvas items I need to sell. The home we are in currently isn’t large enough (a special lack of storage space) for me to keep piling up pieces, so this de-motivates me to paint on canvas. I gotta get a move on with this and soon. And, of course, I need to sell some books. I used to do book-signings, but haven’t in a long time. Maybe I need to consider lining up another one or two.

When it comes to art and writing, I seem to go in seasons, for a while concentrating on making art, then switching over to almost exclusively writing for a time, but for the most part I can say that I do both, as the spirit moves.

These days I am still feeling (I think I mentioned this once before) like I am emerging from a tunnel, a time of deep learning and change in my life, deep healing. Life changes. Epiphanies. I feel like I am emerging and calming immensely. I can only hope that the world around me takes a clue and does the same, and that this vaccine will come (though I won’t be the first to take it) and this virus mess can begin to leave and calm itself, too.

I NEEEED to go out and eat at a restaurant with a friend, one where nobody has to wear a mask and everyone feels safe. I need that little bit of a social life I actually had (being a cocooning introvert already) but even I need to talk to another human sometimes. I actually look forward to my allergy shots so I can see other nice humans and interact for a moment or two. Enough is enough already. (Can I get a Woot Woot??)

Haven’t made one of my Writing Tips YouTube vids in a bit. I need to get to that, I’ve been having some trouble with my eyes, though. Waiting for it to calm a bit.

So, Bill Gates says that once 30 to 60 percent of Americans have taken the vaccine, it should stop it in its tracks. I know Bill knows money and I can only hope he surrounds himself with medical experts, (I would assume so) that advise him in such matters. I feel like overall, he is a pretty smart dude. (He has DT beat, though I always prefer my medical info come from medical people.) So now we wait for the vaccine. Billions of dollars are being spent on vaccines in many countries around the world, so it will be interesting to see which one comes to the forefront first, which companies launch them and when. Not all countries seem to want to even get through human trials before launching the vaccine, so that will be interesting to watch.

I continue to observe and take notes from my blanket fort.

I have begun spending less and less time on Facebook, because the idiocy and meanness I find there is just too damn depressing, and this is sad because I have friends I only see or hear from on there. Maybe once things get back to “normal” people will begin to act like sentient compassionate humans again. (Not holding my breath.)

“Hell is other people.” Jean-Paul Sartre

Not all other people, but, I think you get it. (You introverts do!)

So today there are some folks doing some work around our place and once they are gone, I will have a little brunch and watch some more Killing Eve on Hulu, then perhaps make some art on paper or in one of my journals, (I was very motivated by my lessons yesterday), then maybe this afternoon I will pull out the current fiction project and pound words for a bit longer.

Though I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m a bit tired, I am in general, feeling well. Ready for fall to come, ready for the vaccine to come, ready for the virus to go. Ready to face life today, (one day at a time). Til next time–

Peace Out

May 28th update on my thoughts on the virus and our response, long term:

Everyone has had their own reactions and responses to this horrific event, and our views change (or should evolve and grow) over time. Mine have. The things I thought and felt at day one or week two or day 45 of isolation, they have changed and evolved as things have progressed. I still witness so many people being rude and thoughtless and downright mean-spirited on the daily and this is heart-breaking. I made the decision early on to be open-minded, find facts (as much as anyone can), not get drawn into lunatic conspiracy theories, and adjust my thinking as more info presented itself. The following is where I am at today, May 28th.

Leaving conspiracy theories aside (which I am absolutely doing) though I acknowledge this is a crazy messed up, money-obsessed world with all kinds of things going on that most people don’t know anything about, I believe the world has always operated this way so I’m not shocked at all by any of it. We just hear more now than we ever did before. (And what we hear is distorted to fit someone’s agenda, I guarantee you that much.) Those things aside, here it is.

I think there have been and are still many of us, particularly those of us who would consider ourselves or close loved ones to be high risk, that have felt like this would all one day pass… in 14 days or 30 days or 90 days, that one day it will magically disappear and we can all leave our homes again absolutely risk-free. I no longer believe this is going to happen. If it does, I will be thrilled, obviously, but from all I have read, I now believe that this virus isn’t going anywhere, not for a very, very long time and may stay around pretty much forever much like the cold viruses we have now.

So. If this is indeed true, (and I am not quoting anyone here because people choose to believe what they will and it does not matter one iota what the source is, I’ve seen this many times), then one must then decide what to do about it. To me, wisdom says, be careful, wear masks, wash your hands a lot, stay away from large crowds of people (etc) while also beginning to get back to some sense of life. For me, the biggest thing is being able to see my kids and grandkids again. For some it is going back to work or finding a new job. So, for me, I am working towards a date in the near future where I will be able to see my loved ones, while we all act responsibly (making sure everyone is well at the time of visits, etc). Because it is either this or resign myself to never seeing them again, and I am here to tell you, that is not an option for me.

So over the coming weeks I will begin to wear a mask and go shopping again. Go to my doctor’s visits again. See my chiropractor. Go back to my allergy clinic for shots, and other such things. I intend to be very careful about where I go and take care of myself as well as I possibly can, but I cannot simply stop living forever or stop seeing my family forever. I can’t NEVER go back to a doctor. Life has got to go on. I have come to understand and accept this.

I am endeavoring to accept anyone and everyone’s points of view (as long as they are being kind and compassionate, because I will never understand the mean-ness.) Each of us must decide what feels right for us and our loved ones.

Because we were already so divided (and there are many people in some extreme camps right now in my opinion) the virus took an already touchy and difficult situation and made it a million times worse. If or when I have to, I will delete my social media accounts altogether, but I am HOPING and trusting humanity enough to try and keep my friends and contacts through social media as long as possible. Nonsense will not be tolerated. I do not mind discussing things with anyone but SHOUTING and talking down to me or others or name calling will not be tolerated on my timelines. If I have to go down to 3 people, then I will.

I don’t know where you are at in your thinking about what lies ahead for you and yours, but whatever it is, I offer you compassion and understanding. I say take as much time as you need. Do what you have to do. Just please be patient with others (as I am trying to as well.)

It’s my opinion that as time goes on, we will all have to “come out from under” at some point and find our “new normal”. It’s that or lay down and die. But you do YOU, do what you need to and when you need to, and each of us are in different areas and different situations. Tread carefully. Be mindful of others please, and if you cannot, then take yourself away from me.

Be well, my friends. Be whole. Be compassionate. Be loving. Be alive.

Peace Out

Tag: virus

Life Catch-up (One Day at a Time)