What is it?

It’s the million-dollar question: what is it that keeps you from doing all you want to do and being fully who you are? What keeps me from making my YouTube videos more often? From marketing my work? From “going for it” to coin a phrase? I truly don’t know but I can only guess for me and others that it has to do with our programming. The years of being told “Don’t do that” and “You can’t do that!” and “What do you think you’re doing?” and “Who do you think you are?” All those messages screamed at us from a young age. Imposter syndrome. Self-esteem issues. Not knowing how to fully re-program ourselves.

I’ve done so much on work on myself and I can say I fully love me. I forgive me. I respect me. But still, it’s not always enough. I lack motivation. Maybe I’m just plain happy and love “being” instead of always “doing”? Wouldn’t that be a hoot? Perhaps I’m lazy (I am a cat-like personality). I love nothing more than reading, writing, listening to podcasts and audiobooks, drawing… (all things one does while sitting, of course) but my catty self loves it. I guess, the bottom line is I am not sufficiently motivated to do more than I do and that dammit I am happy. I am at peace. I am serene. Maybe if I wasn’t I’d work harder.

Food for thought.