Tag: writing

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What a glorious damned day

Been playing at this one book for years, finally wrote it and now I am full of angst about whether or not I should just print it for myself or actually sell it. And I want to talk about it but there’s no-one really to talk to about it. So here I am.

My site has cobwebs, no-one has been here in so long, including me. Need to get to my class work but can’t focus. Urgh. Coffee and go! Motivate! (I just want to hide in bed all day. Perhaps I deserve it, I have been writing 12 and 14 hrs a day for over a week. Edits, re-writes.) No wonder I lack motivation.

Also, I get no encouragement and pats on the back these days and that is hard. I am writing in a tunnel, a vacuum and that is so so hard.

Maybe I need to switch to arting for a couple days. Getting on with my day. It really is a glorious day.

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Writing Again

I say from time to time “I’m not working on any books for a while or maybe at all ever again” but I did decide I have one non-fiction in me, so I have started on that. Gosh I write, journal, blog a lot. It is indeed my very life.

For the first time in a long while I have days that are full to the brim, though, with work. I am taking (currently) two classes, I have an art therapy client, and I’m working on the book. Oh, and trying to keep up with the household stuff, enjoy fam when they come, have any kind of a small social life. And I I am debating starting my YouTube videos back up again. Maybe weekly, maybe monthly.

One of the things I have been taught in one of my classes is the idea that one cannot be truly happy or fulfilled without giving back in some way. Back in my church days, I had a bit more of an ability to help, mostly with acts of service, but sometimes lead a class or something. Counsel with someone who needed a listening ear. These days I don’t have any real venue unless I make it, such as with art therapy or on YouTube.

Sadly, I do like the sound of my own voice, sometimes… lol. Talk, talk, talk. But if I do have any gift to share, I ought to get on with it, stop pussy-footing around and being all like “eh can I do it?” Just woman up and get it done. So that’s where I’m at. It’s a good place to be.

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Nov 8 Life Continued

Of course, as often happens with me, my brain was abuzz with words for a blog in the wee hours of the morning, I had plans, I had goals for a new YouTube vid about writing. As the day began to progress, my excitement and inspiration began to wane.

I needed to do my nails so I did that, did the dishes and put some laundry in the washer and bye-bye to more inspiration. Then I cleaned out closets. And so it goes.

My better writing angels that were perched with glee on my shoulders seem to have vanished, giving up on me getting in front of the computer. Come back! I scream. I’m here finally! **Looks under the bed and all around but they are playing hide and seek.

Oh well. I’ll sit anyway because discipline is a thing. Sometimes we writers just have to show up when we can and hope for the best.

Been spending some time thinking about where to go next with my current novel project. I’ve set it up for some romance and a bit of thriller action, but I’ve got to get to the nitty-gritty of it. What specifically do I want to happen with this antagonist? Will work on that some today.

I’m getting used to a new computer, so that’s fun, learning which keys stick and what-not.

My art room is a hot mess. I dug out every painting I had stored anywhere in the house and they are laying about higgledy-piggledy. My “Lovely Lady” drawings are strewn everywhere. I’ve been working on updating my store here on the site and making sure it’s accurate.

I’ve all but given up on Facebook entirely. Social media all together, really. though I do enjoy browsing through the lovely poems and paintings on my Instagram feed.

I really hope our country can begin to heal now that the election is behind us. Politicians have gone a long way towards dividing us, egging us on against one another. It’s time to set aside differences and find humanity again. To focus on getting through this pandemic to the end of it, which I hope and pray will be sooner rather than later.

Once the virus is gone maybe we can get back to sitting down with one another and talking about things. I find when you do that, you often find that we are not nearly as far apart on how we think and feel than the politicians would have us believe. They thrive on creating discord between us and we need to wake up to their plots and refuse to be their puppets any longer. Life could be so good for us if we could just get back to love and care and stop listening to the talking heads. Let’s reach out, talk, love, heal, show compassion.

Next up, a little art, a little more writing, a bit more organization and cleaning. Whatever you get up to today, I hope it’s something that brings you peace. We are all overdue for some.

Peace Out, peeps!

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Life is Good, Bad and Ugly.

Blog for today. Hello lovelies. How are we today? Yesterday and today I’ve made lists and I’m going through an item at a time and getting some things done. I have not been productive every single day of the lockdown (nor was I productive every single day before the lockdown). But this week, for right now, today, I seem to need to stay active. It helps.

Getting some sun seems to help me, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. It’s close to 11 and I still have 8 or 9 items left to go. I’m actually happy about that.

When it comes to writing, I seem to be in a real poetry mode. I had started a fiction book a month or two ago, but haven’t touched it since the first week of working on it. Maybe I’ll schedule a day to work on it next week. In the past, once I start a book, I don’t work on anything else until it’s done. These last four or five years, maybe because I’ve been focusing a ton on my mental and physical health, the idea of shorter/smaller projects has greatly appealed. I can finish quickly and get that feeling of accomplishment faster (like checking things off a list).

Then there’s art. I started painting (acrylic on canvas) a couple years back and I find a lot of satisfaction in it. It’s therapeutic and really energizes the creative mind for me. Then I began to take art journaling classes and that has been life-alteringly beneficial for me. I can do longer, more in depth projects, or even just draw or use color pencils, or whatever, and it keeps my hands active as well as my mind. I can do layer after layer, collage or mixed media, or whatever strikes me.

Finding out how to draw faces is something that has been huge for me over this past year or so. I have studied a lot of tutorials, noted what my art journaling teacher does as well as many other artists, then began to practice for hours and hours, trying to find my own unique style. I think I’m beginning to, and it has been such fun. I don’t know how many sketchbooks and journals I’ve filled with faces, but it’s a ton. I try to at least draw and doodle every day. I tackle the larger projects as I feel up to it. Art has–I know this to be true–saved me in so many ways.

This lockdown and virus mess is hard, it has been and it will be, and nobody really knows for how long. I’ve been through hard things before. I didn’t want to go through something like this, nobody does, but I’ll just keep plugging through the best I can. And that’s life, isn’t it? Facing the mundane, the beautiful, and the horrible and living through it all.

Keep plugging away, dear friends.

As always, Peace Out

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Sunday, April 26th (Life in the midst of a pandemic and fighting being sick. Also writing tips!)

I’m going to try to write something every day while I’m sick and indeed while the lockdown continues. On my last post I told ya that I am indeed fighting a virus that’s in my lungs though I have not yet been tested. I’m hoping by Wednesday when our closest drive up testing center opens, I will be feeling much better. If not I will likely go over and just confirm it or rule it out and go from there.

Losing my voice a little, with breathing treatments I breathe okay but if I talk a lot will get short of breath. I’m a fighter though and no stranger to battling illness so I am girded for battle, My spirits are high. (I get knocked down but I get up again, ain’t nothing gonna keep me down!)

Yesterday I talked a bit about, well, a lot of things. I went back and edited where I said women are pushed down like other ethnic groups, didn’t want to make it appear as if I think I have ANY idea what it is like to be a woman of color. I do not and cannot imagine. The only thing I have experienced that would come close would be the times I have been treated badly as a woman, for being a woman. Not the same thing, of course.

I thought, as I am a writer and this is my blog and one might assume I may occasionally talk about writing, that I would do so today.

I am planning (as soon as I get to feeling stronger in the lungs, etc) to do a couple of videos on writing, talk about some of the things I’ve done in the past, helping other writers, and my best tips and advice for the person who says, “Hey, I think I want to write a book!” I meet people who tell me that all the time and I offer what advice I can and will even help them along the process if they decide to proceed. (I will share some good tips here and now for any interested, to whet the appetite.)

Gonna share the number one first thing I ask such a person: What are you reading? Who are your favorite authors? How much or often do you read? Just like you go to medical school to learn medicine before being a doctor or study as a plumber’s apprentice before becoming a plumber, (you see where I’m going) if you never read, you’ll never be a writer. It is absolutely the best study of writing there is.

There are other skills you will need such as a better- than- working knowledge of spelling and grammar and vocabulary. People try to tell me often that they are writers but sometimes when I look at their work I can’t get through it, can’t even finish reading it because it is soooo bad in the area of spelling and/or even knowing how to correctly punctuate and put a paragraph together. I guarantee you that no publisher is willing to work with such a person. Put in the work. Study. If you don’t want to take classes, study books. Read, read, and read some more. Take note of how they do it. Emulate what they do. Increase your vocabulary constantly.

I say again, you cannot be a writer without putting in the work, just like anything else.

Another thing I have run across a lot, is someone coming to me who has an amazing writer’s imagination, and they tell me their ideas and I can spot it immediately. But then, they have no idea how to put those ideas on paper. (I refer them back to the advice above.) Some have asked me to do the work for them. That’s not how any of this works. If you want it bad enough, be willing to put the time in. Practice, practice, practice. I often agree to read other’s practice writing and attempt to advise. There truly are no easy shortcuts just like there isn’t with anything worthwhile. And it should be said that there are those with a natural talent and affinity for it (I was one) and it will be easier for them to do this work. It’s always easier if it comes more naturally and if you’re passionate about it.

I hope this gives you food for thought and that if you are a person interested in writing at all, you will tune in when I get my YouTube vids up. I will post everywhere when that happens.

Still struggling with getting along with people on Facebook who are deep into conspiracy theories and do not believe this virus is real. I know so many people affected in one way or another and have a dear friend who lost a son. I know it’s real and have zero tolerance. And because I have no love for the Trumpster, that makes it very hard for me to be on Facebook. I’ve just had to start blocking people. Some that I dearly love, even. Cuz I just can’t. He lost me the very first time he opened his mouth and when I heard his description of women, I nearly vomitted. I lost all respect for him long ago and do not get the hero worship that is taking place over there on the right. Be Republican if you want to, but this I cannot understand and never will. If this puts you off me, sorry, not sorry, do what you’ve got to do. Enough said about that, but here is where I will (only occasionally) post my opinions on such things.

If you have any questions on writing, please ask! On this site you will see my books that are still in print listed, they are also available on Amazon. My two most recent are Transcendant (dystopian fiction), and Heart of Courage, a poetry compilation of my poetry with three other poets that I know personally and love dearly. My other books were written between 2009 and 2013 I believe, but these two are most recent. I have a couple of projects I have started but seem to be drawn a lot into my art these days and smaller projects like poetry and short stories and I plan to do another book of poetry when I have enough gathered. I also list some of my acrylic-on-canvas paintings here on my site (see the tabs at top).

Gonna rest my noodle for a bit. I hope you are all well, and for anyone battling any kind of illness, stay strong, my heart goes out to you.

And hey, while you’re isolating, READ. 🙂

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My Thoughts Today June 21, 2019

Had a great idea today, got it from watching NCIS. I’m thinking of doing a Dead President’s Journal. Let me explain:

It’s not really anything to do with whichever dead president you choose to write to, it’s about writing a letter to someone who will never get it, never read it, in fact you’ll never send it anywhere. It’s your journal, your diary. Sort of like having a dead Pen Pal. Writing TO someone appeals to me. I feel like I might write differently. Yet this person I can really dump on and they won’t mind. Yeah, I think I’m gonna do this.

My nails are too long and it’s making it hard to type. Time to trim.

I am sooo enjoying my art journaling class and love my teacher (and the guest teachers, too). I feel like it’s taking me to the next level in my art journey and this thrills me to no end. I may be finding my own style, my own groove, and damn, that’s a happy place.

I’ve been taking an all-natural immune system booster thingy that seems to be working well for me. I finally think I see a light at the end of the tunnel and may be getting my health back. I have no idea what to do with all the energy I will have if this continues to work well (see all my rants about having sinus infections and a cough for 17 months straight and the docs, 5 of them, saying, “We can’t give you any more steroids and antibiotics for this,” and I’m like Oh Crap), like, I actually convinced hubs to move out of state to see if it would fix my health and it is a bit better with that alone, but mostly I was still struggling, so this health thing is HUGE for me, I cannot even tell you. I may finally be able to take over the world… or at least handle my own.

As for deep spiritual and philosophical stuff, I can only say I continue on my journey, and find more truths daily. The thing I have also found is that, if you have an epiphany or find some nugget of truth, it doesn’t pay to try to share that with anyone who simply cannot be there at the same time with you. Some things really are best unsaid, unless or until you find the gems in your life who get it and can genuinely hear what you’re saying and even kinda understand it. Or, even if they don’t get IT, they kinda get You, and that alone is truly special. Love my gold nuggets, my fam and friends. My art and literary tribes have become super special to me. Artsy people tend to be a different sort; quirky, swirly, different, weird, twirly, crunchy, and wonderful. They are my truest peeps.

I see God weekly at the beach. Sitting and watching the pale whitish crabs pop up outta the sand and toss aside the dirt they just dug out, then look at me and blink their odd little eyes (that sit atop sticks outta their heads) entertains and thrills me like mad. The pelicans that live and play in our area are also quite entertaining. I love how they fly in formation, and if one falls behind, they will come back for him. I really love when they fly super high, then dive straight down into the water to catch a fish.

There are so may lessons in nature, and they don’t involve pulpits or country clubs. The crabs, the pelicans, they just live their lives. They ARE who they are, they just BE. They do what they were made to do.

(MS Word keeps telling me I ought not say “outta” and such things, but hey, this isn’t for a book, it’s just between us friends, so I’m gonna take off my “editor” cap and let it flow.)

Maybe the biggest/bestest thing I’ve learned in the past decade, is that I do not have to care a whit about what others think of me. I can just BE. Be me, just like the crabs and pelicans. Ya think the pelicans go up to the crabs and ask why they behave the way they do? I think not. Live and let live. You be you and I’ll be me. So liberating, so powerful. And to think I used to think it was some duty of mine to go out and change everyone else so that I might understand them better. It is to laugh.

So much of who and what we are is handed down to us, it’s learned behavior, tradition, family patterns, whatever. It’s so powerful to finally look at all of that objectively, to choose what fits me and discard the rest. Forty, or even ten years ago, I could never have imagined being able to do such a thing.

And so, I come back to this… I am good. That means I am well and happy. I have moments of pure joy, times of sadness or despair, aggravation, even depression at times, but all in all, it is truly well with my soul. Because I finally found ME. I now know who I am. And I love me. And that’s pretty all right.

 

 

 

 

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Artistic Priority (When My Worlds Collide)

I’ve been writing for many years, but that’s not to say there weren’t times that I went for long spaces of inertia with writing. During one of those down-times I began to get into painting. It felt like the right thing to do at the time; focus on something else for a while.  (I began writing full-time in ’09 and have written ten novels, and have put together and published other’s work as well, and now write a lot of poetry.)

Painting has settled into a spot in my life I didn’t even know I had. It soothes me, inspires me; it’s meditation as well as creation. It’s therapy for me.

When I first began to feel like I was figuring it out (to any degree) I got very excited and set up this site to sell artwork and my books, as well. I still sell one on occasion, but now my writing has kind of taken it’s place back (first place), for my time and attention. It may be possible to give 100% to both things, but if so, I don’t know how to manage it. So, as writing has always been there, a part of my DNA, I’d say, it will stay top priority for now. I just don’t have time to write and paint and try to market and sell books AND artwork. So, I’ll leave the ones up that I have listed for sale, and may continue to sell one from time to time, but painting has settled into a spot that’s just for me. It’s a special thing, like massage for the soul.

Recently I dreamt up ideas for two new fiction novels, so those will keep me very busy for a while, and I have a poetry compilation due to publish next summer. I plan to do more anthologies for young, aspiring writers and poets as well, so this must be my focus…. at least for now.

It’s very cool that art (painting) discovered me (or I discovered it, either way). It’s become a very welcome part of my life. For now it is priority two, but it is still very special for me. I adore combining both of my loves when possible (like the above poem posted on a piece of my artwork). It’s the best of both worlds.

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The Mechanics of Writing

As a child I often wondered what my life would be like at eighteen, twenty-five, forty, fifty. I’d picture myself as a take-charge adult, someone who has had things happen, good things. Marriage, kids, successful career, I think I imagined it all.

As a teen I began to write fiction novels, mostly keeping them to myself, for a long time not daring to let anyone read anything I’d written. Over the years I finally began to allow a friend or two to read something and invariably they’d say a little something good, maybe voice a criticism or two, and I tried to take it in my stride, not be offended, but when you love books and read a lot and then dare to write something and then ask other people who, by and large, did not read or write anymore than they had to, for their opinions, well, it didn’t always go well.

It took a lot of time for me to learn that I did need to take criticism but only from someone who knew what they were talking about. Someone who never cracks a book open doesn’t get to criticize my writing, any more than I would go into a mechanic’s shop and tell someone how to change a carburetor.

The biggest piece of advice I give aspiring writers is to read, read, and read some more. There is no better way to prepare to be a writer than reading and writing. Once you’ve conquered the basics of grammar and spelling and sentence structure, it then becomes about figuring out just how to put words together in such a way as to engage the reader. Like a lot of things creative, I find that people either know how to do it and just need tons of practice, or they don’t have it and there will be no teaching it. You can teach grammar, you can teach spelling, but putting words together is a different skill altogether.

When I wrote my first poem in my twenties, I let my parents read it and I’ll never forget the look on their faces. It was as if some new facet of myself had just been revealed to them. I’d surprised them, and this time in a good way. They saw something they hadn’t seen before.

I continued to write throughout my life, in between marriage, kids, and other things, and from time to time, I’ve surprised other people. Other family members, friends… they’re the ones you have to impress after all. The strangers who read your writing have absolutely no preconceived idea of whether or not you have any talent at all, they just read and enjoy it or don’t.

But the thing to remember is that I became more confident in my own abilities and talents, and didn’t have to be blown apart by some non-reader telling me that I should’ve started my book with the words “It was a dark and stormy night.” As if all books can begin that way.

Now I’ve got several books in print and spend a lot of time and energy writing, editing, and helping others be better writers, and I’ve learned a ton about who to listen to in regards to writing.

So learn, take classes, and read, read, and read some more, and for heaven’s sake, if you want someone’s opinion on your work, ask someone you can trust, someone you know full well is a reader if not also a writer. Nobody else gets to have a say. If someone gives you good advice, take it. If they give you bad advice or just plain criticism that is not founded in reality, learn to shake it off and keep plugging away. After all, you’re not trying to re-build a carburetor.