Tag: peace

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A Day in the Life

Been in therapy a few weeks and just when I begin to wonder if it’s working, I’ve had a couple big breakthroughs, so that’s cool. Pressing on. I’ve stopped looking at things in the same way and feel I can finally focus on forward movement. Now if I could just feel well-rested, those days are great. Rough night last night.

So many people with their opinions of what is right, but they only think “This is Right for All” instead of “This is Right For ME!” If people could just change that one little thing… and I behave the same way often myself. Cuz when you work hard for your belief system and it makes sense to you, it’s tough not to want everyone else to jump on board. But we need to allow each other to have the voyage, the journey, the struggle. It’s what grows us and makes us strong. America was founded on Freedom of Religion, so obviously it was important to the founding fathers. I can’t help but think so many things about our country. I love it here, I know it’s still a great place to be compared to some others, but also… there is so much wrong.

I mean that Thanksgiving pilgrim fantasy we all had… we now know it was all much bloodier than what we like to say each year in November. We have so much more knowledge now… and change is hard for people. Sometimes believing the new information is difficult to impossible for the Old School folks. But we have to be open-minded enough to take in new facts, new information, or we’re just dinosaurs. (And will become extinct, just the same.)

Terroristic shootings have become the norm now, not just the occasional random horror… we’ve become used to it because the far right informs us, we cannot mess with gun laws… and children still die, innocent people still die. There must be a better way. There must be a way to both be able to defend ourselves and our homes and families, while protecting the innocent, and for crying out loud, get people the mental healthcare they need. Lock people up and keep them there, when that is what is necessary. I can’t believe that there is a country as wealthy and large as we are that can’t figure this shit out. Our priorities are skewed. That has become horribly apparent. People just plain don’t want change. They want to say, “I want to go back there,” when there is no going back. We have to deal with the shitstorm that is here and now.

Anyway, unscheduled rant happened.

I am a patriot, believe it or not. The same people I disagree with, I would stand shoulder to shoulder with–to protect them if necessary. But I am not a nationalist. I love people of every background and nationality. The politicians are the ones to hate, if you feel you must, but please don’t take it out on people of other countries, just trying to live, raise their kids, get by. I have friends (thanks to the internet) from lots of different countries, and I have found us to be more alike than different. We all want peace. We all want security, friendship, decent jobs. Take the politics out of it and we are much the same underneath.

Unscheduled rant over. I believe in good, hardworking people, and they can be found all over the globe. If we could just get the politicians to stop shaking their fists at one another and learn to live and let live. But we likely won’t. We may very well destroy ourselves. I truly hope not. But good, kind people do still exist. We need to stand up and make our voices heard, too.

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November 7, 2021 aka It Is What It Is

I sat down the other day and wrote a loooooong blog, only to realize there was an issue and it wouldn’t post and I lost it (because I didn’t write it in Word first like I sometimes do, but tried to save myself a few seconds of work.) Bit me in the butt. We’ll see if it works today.

Trying to stay steady, to maintain. Our lives are good and we are grateful but many that we know are struggling hard in one way or another. It’s hard to watch someone you love suffer in any way, and know there is nothing you can do but hope, pray (if you do), and wait it out. It Is What it Is. My most used phrase of the 2020s. When you can do nothing, you have to lay it down, let it go. Grieve when you must.

I am certainly a person who could easily make myself sick with worry, but I swore a long time ago Not to be that person, or at least to work hard on learning to let go of what you cannot control or change. I think that is one of the hardest lessons to learn–to stay steady in the midst of chaos or pain or stress. I’ve come a long way but have not totally arrived. The danger is going too far in the other direction and hardening your heart, putting too many walls up, forgetting how to love and care. No danger there, at least I’ve always felt too sensitive for my own good. (Thus the need to learn these lessons, build some kind of walls, lest I allow myself to be utterly destroyed.)

The world has changed so much these last few years as to sometimes seem unrecognizable. Many say it’s God’s wrath, but I never buy such answers, mainly because any God I could believe in, would never dole out such hurt and suffering on the good and the bad alike. There seems to be no justice at all to be had. I think it’s life on planet earth, viruses happen, shit happens, if you will, and it lands on all of us alike. Tidal waves, earthquakes… not the hand of a loving God at all, just life on this spinning ball. We like tidier answers than that, but I think that’s the truth of it.

Life happens. Shit happens. Illness and death happen, even to the good, the faithful, the kind, the believer and non-believer alike. That cannot be justice, therefore it cannot be the hand of any just god. Simple math to me.

For whatever reason, we have been planted here on this spinning ball and left (by and large) to fend for ourselves. The true colors of humanity are coming to the forefront, some good, wonderful, kind… many power-mad or simply mad and concerned only with themselves. Either the scale has tipped toward the dark side, or we just never knew how many hurting, broken people there were out there before the internet age. (And by that I mean, the hurting broken ones that decide to turn ugly and act out in various ways.) Not all who wander are lost, not all who are hurting choose to hurt others.

I’ll give this decade one thing, it isn’t going to be boring. Always some new “fresh hell” around the corner. It is what it is.

But there is still GOOD. If anything, I recognize the good now, more than ever. Good people. Good hearts. Heroes. Innocence that we don’t want to see destroyed. Hope, faith, gentleness, self-control… it does still exist. It stands out, now, and I mean the True, the Real, not just those that claim a particular faith, but the Real shows up and comes through. Those that are genuine and kind are beacons of hope in an ever-maddening world. And they exist in any and every area. These are my truest heroes. In these are where I place my hope.

I once thought only those in church (of faith) were the good ones. Then I thought those of faith were the deluded ones. And now I know that we are all one people, each doing the very best we can with what we know. Each choosing how best to cope, how to maintain our hearts, our kindness, in whatever way we choose, and we are fortunate to be able to do so. Those who cope, they each find their way… and those who cannot cope… I only hope they don’t allow despair to turn them to darkness, meanness, selfishness, hate.

We are (as humans) forever looking for pat answers, the black and white of it all, but we live in GRAY so there is this disconnect. The pat answers don’t speak to the gray, the real life issues and problems. The real people. We like our organization, to tick all the boxes, sum people up and file them away, but we are so much more than that. People are so much more than a checkmark.

If only we opened our eyes to what and who we could be to and for each other, stopped the dividing lines, and began to embrace each other again. Sometimes what is so hard, is seeing what it could be… what we could be. I see it. It seems an unreachable goal, but I can almost taste it.

But here we are, in the gray, and it is what is. Peace to you all, my friends. Stay safe and love each other.

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August 2021

It’s the end of August and I haven’t blogged for a bit. Upgraded my phone and laptop this year and we bought a new (to us) home, so we have been busy.

It seems like the last few years have been about new beginnings, but like over and over. I am so ready to SETTLE in for a bit. We love our area and the friends we’ve made in Central Florida. We adore our new place and the neighborhood seems to be very amenable to walking and being outdoors and making friends. If I can get some cooler temps coming in (which should be soon) I want to start walking outside instead of just doing my bike in the house. I have been enjoying the pool though during this summer heat.

Now if we can just get Covid and its many mutations to Go the F Away and stay away. If only. My hopes are that the world (and our state) will be far more clear of this mess by Christmas.

What a couple years, eh? Batshit. The fear, the Unknown, the lack of control we all felt (that some handled better than others) and the complete inability for some to accept what was happening… (all totally normal, I suppose, under the circumstances). We all have had such different experiences and backgrounds, our personalities can be so utterly different, different ages, all sorts of things, so, of course, we respond uniquely. If there is anything we humans (maybe especially Americans) love, it’s control. It’s being in the know. We want the skinny and we want it NOW.

But I wonder how we will recover in the long-term. How can we ever go back to who we once were? Maybe the answer is that we cannot. I truly hope we can be smarter, more compassionate, more willing to share with one another in an atmosphere of love and acceptance… but I don’t see evidence of it. Our world, our nation has been rocked and it has changed, I’m not sure for the better. A lot of people, myself included, are more afraid to fly than ever before. (And I’m not even talking about the risk of the virus, but how people have been behaving.) There are more (or at least more obvious) mental health issues than ever before. We’ve all been traumatized. Some folks just don’t seem well, not at all. Kindness and compassion go out the window and full-on meltdowns are the go-to response to, well, anything. It’s like we’ve had ENOUGH and cannot take any more.

Where in the world will we end up?? Heaven only knows.

Early on in the pandemic, I found some ways for me to cope. 1) I take one day and one decision at a time. It helps me NOT to feel overwhelmed. 2) I had my “F U” moment. I think everyone needs this, the moment where you scream at the top of your lungs “F you and F that and F Covid!” Etc, etc. Mine lasted a bit. I had some old stuff to get out, and this helped me more than anything I’ve tried, to destress, let go of old anger and old stuffed trauma and memories. Anger and hurt that is stuffed down will find its way out, be it days, weeks, or years later. It comes out physically and emotionally and can and does make us sick. The Only Way Out is Through. I learned to stop stuffing. 3) similar to 2, and this began even well before the pandemic, I take care of myself and have gotten a little therapy, learned to be fully myself, have my opinions and independence, and without beating up others in the process.

I’ve learned that I’m not just okay, I’m more than okay. I love and I am loved. I love and care for myself and my uniqueness and I value it. All those old messages of Not being quite good enough have been kicked to the curb and have no power over me now. I don’t feel the same pressures I used to, to fit in or make others happy. I am me, come along for the ride or get away, I really don’t care anymore. (Some of this freedom comes with age!) As we get older, and also having been through times of crisis, we can more clearly see the ridiculousness of some of the things we used to fret about. Ideally, old falsehoods and bad habits and attitudes burn away. I focus on health, in every area.

I’m a recovering perfectionist, still working on it. I believe it goes along with trying too hard for too many years to please everyone around me. It made me critical. I still struggle with this every day, but I have my head on straight finally.

I take responsibility (and this is a biggie) for me. For all I do or say. I don’t do the blame game or gaslight or manipulate others in order to make myself feel better. I see way too much of this behavior in the world today, and I refuse to participate. But neither do I apologize too frequently, or if I genuinely have no reason to; I live an unapologetic real life.

I was thinking about people who cut (hurt themselves) or have other methods of what I believe to be Release. For me, writing is a release, even if I repeat myself or vent or make no sense at all. Drawing, painting, and being creative helps me, too. I was thinking about how we can learn more positive forms of “pressure release” so that so many people don’t have to go through life self-medicating or self-harming, just to get by. We’ve got to get better. We have to do BETTER.

I truly hope and pray we humans grow from these past months and years. That we learn to cope without hurting ourselves or others. I truly hope for healing.

Peace Out for now my friends-

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Late July (like my favorite cracker brand)

Haven’t blogged in ages but I’ve been writing in my journals; you remember– longhand. A lost art. Somehow it vibes differently.

We are in the midst of moving house. We’re taking advantage of the wild market and making a move that should set us up nicely for our future. Wouldn’t have even thought of it, but for the market going nuts and the interest rates being so low. We finally decided a move would be adventurous and we still had just enough adventure left in us to do so (though now I’m beginning to wonder… I may be getting too old for this.) Will soon close on our current home and hope to be in new one by mid-August.

So many lessons we learn in this life… patience, gratitude, living in the present moment… all good things. Annoying AF on the way to learning them. But good things.

We’ve been getting out and about more since we got vaxxed but I am concerned about the world at large. I get why some don’t maybe want to get vaxxed but also believe they have then a huge responsibility to wear masks and be responsible. Some claim to be against fear, and yet are so afraid of the vaccine. Makes no logical sense to me. I certainly don’t live in fear. But I do take my responsibilities to my fellow man seriously. I came to the conclusion that there IS NO perfect answer. Sometimes life is hard and it sucks and there are viruses and all manner of bad things that happen. Virus–BAD. Side effects–if you get them from vaccine–BAD. It’s a crapshoot. Such is life on planet earth and it is not for the feint of heart.

I have friends and family that have chosen not to vaccinate. I don’t necessarily agree with their decision, but in such bizarre times I am finding more and more that I do not want to judge the actions of others. They are where they are, I am where I am. Each of us must decide for ourselves, along with a million other decisions every day, large and small. In such times, I conclude, I have no right to judge. We all do the best we can with what we know. The best we can in our own lives. Trying to force everyone (or anyone) to believe as I do has only left me with a headache from banging my head on the wall. To be trite, YOU do YOU and I’ll do me.

For a while there I shut a lot of people out. I tend to do that–push people away that disagree with me–but eventually you will find yourself very alone doing such a thing. I’ve always kinda been a “Why can’t we all just get along?” kinda gal. So I am trying to put that into practice. There are so many people out there that I find so many things to love about–and have to stop letting one or two small differences keep me from friendship. They say “No man is an island” and I have truly tried to be one (outside of my family) I have shut many people out. I have had impossible standards at times. I am trying to get over it. This f-ing virus and political fighting has done so much to destroy us and beat us down and pit us against one another, I wonder if we as a country will ever really get over it.

And when I pop my head out and look around and the BS fighting and politics and fear-mongering is all I see, it’s way too easy to cocoon myself away again. But I will keep doing some of that under the heading of Self Care or Boundaries or Knowing My Limits. I only have so much emotional and physical energy these days and I flat out refuse to give it away on drama and nonsense. So maybe some of the “keeping people at arm’s length” isn’t all bad…? Maybe? Depending on what they bring to the relationship. Come at me with love, patience, humor, empathy and understanding, and we will get along. Come my way with judgment, drama, hatred, bigotry, or ignorance and you will see me pulling back. I guess in the end, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

I hope you are all coping well and making good decisions and finding and keeping your peace. Stay well, my friends, and peace out.

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My POV aka Don’t be Too Crunchy

I like my blog. It’s my POV. I don’t have to argue with people about why I do the things I do or explain or justify, I can just say what I wanna say. Done and done.

I will never get this particular brand of Trump-mania. The blind-following. Crying “censorship” when anyone disagrees with your rhetoric. When people try to stop the flow of nonsense.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good conspiracy theory, I have several of my own, but also I am smart enough to understand that they are just that, and as such, it would not be prudent for me to fling them all around the world claiming them to be fact. I reserve those discussions for those I sit and chat with and hang out with, and hey maybe that’s another negative to this pandemic thing… we can’t just sit and have coffee with our buds and spout out our wild conspiracy theories. in a safe environment, safe in knowing that my bud knows when I’m on the edge of koo-koo but we both know it and it won’t leave the room. I like spouting the crazy, but not publicly. Just for fun, just to vent. But in this environment it has become just a bit too easy for people to latch on and start claiming things as fact that are indeed, just theory.

I think the pandemic is making us all a bit too crunchy, too on the edge…. we are not all behaving rationally. We latch on to something just to feel like we have something to latch onto. Pausing long enough to really think has gone out the window, and heaven forbid any of us might be seen to admit that we may have been wrong about something or someone. Our egos won’t allow that. So we hang on for dear life to that which is ugly and wrong and destructive.

If I rant a lot about anything these days, it is to Think for Yourself. Slow down. Zoom out. Find your logic and common sense. Stop getting caught up in the nonsense. (And know you will be embraced and loved, by those that matter, if you find yourself in a position to have to say “Hey maybe I was wrong.”) Give peace a chance. And common sense. And love for your fellow humans. Calm. Logic. Thoughtfulness. It may be harder to find these days, but it can indeed be found and embraced.

Be good to someone today. It’s the right thing to do. Defeat all that darkness with your light. Be the voice of reason in the midst of chaos.

and Peace Out!

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Blogolicious Jan 2021 (life in the time of covid-19 and extremism)

So, yeah. the world has gone crazy again. I deactivated my Facebook account, again. (Once again I feel like a stranger in a strange land, like a lone voice crying out in the wilderness.) All those around me are crying “Havoc!” and letting loose the dogs of war.

As I see NBA players kneeling (now more fully understanding why they do this than I ever used to) and then read the vitriolic responses of the far right, I laugh, a mirthless chuckle. The extreme right does not care to understand, does not dare to open their hearts or minds to new thoughts or information. They don’t care about compassion and understanding but they do care if anyone rubs up against their narrow POV.

If a person hides themselves away refusing to look, read, learn, know anything outside of what they have always known, they will become more and more extremist. Any time you block yourself off from wisdom or knowledge or facts, and insist on only following a finite set of information, you set yourself up for cult-like extremist behavior. It’s bound to happen. History always repeats itself. Because the lessons that should have been learned have not been learned, not at all. When you know you’re right all the time and throw in a little religious fervor, look out. And some of them don’t even need the religion, they just need a cause to launch themselves behind, no matter how hateful it is.

Let’s say the number 5000 represented all the knowledge and wisdom and factual information available to us humans today. Some people will stop at 10. Some at twenty. Some at 4000. They will stop and say “I know it all! I know everything I need to know! Don’t talk to me about anything outside of this!” and “If you believe anything outside of THIS, not only are you wrong, but you’re stupid and evil, too.”

SMDH. Humans are so funny, but not in a laughable way, not today.

I’ve had enough of extremist view points. POVs that leave out compassion, talking with and discussing things calmly and logically with others, that refuse ever ever to (heaven forbid) listen to someone else’s POV. I see it every day. If you start to say something new to them, you can see the wall clang down as their minds and hearts close off. They have already made up their minds about everything til the end of time. They require no new information. It’s fear. It’s lack of maturity. It’s close-mindedness in the extreme.

There are some who follow me who are from a more, shall we say, conservative mindset. That’s fine. I get it. I’ve come out of some of that background myself. But many of you, even family members, do not know me, haven’t been around me for many years. I got to thinking that I know them quite well because they are the same in many ways as they have always been. But they do NOT know me. If you haven’t been around me in twenty years, I guarantee you do not know me. I’ve changed and grown a ton and been through a lot. I feel as though the universe itself said “I will bang your stubborn head on a brick wall until you open your mind and listen.” (The Universe apparently not being content to just let me be.)

Maybe it needs free thinkers, open-minded folks who are teachable enough and open-minded enough to grow along with all the changes that have occurred this century. Maybe people with open minds and hearts are in short supply so I was selected, I don’t know. I only know that I am a product of my experiences, (like most) though some seem to willingly shut themselves off from new experiences.

I’ve lived in a cave (metaphorically speaking) locked away from anything other than One POV, and there is certainly comfort in it. Soft, cozy. Warm.

The real world can be cold and harsh, but out there is where the fighting is, the true struggle. The struggle to be the best YOU you can become. This does not happen without ever having everything you believe in shaken and rattled, questioned, butted about, without something forcing you to face it all. (A new motto of mine is Question Everything, and that is so different than who I used to be.)

If you are someone who cares, I’ll share a bit about myself here (and goodness knows there are tons of blog posts here you can go back over, if you care to know me better, truly. Not just think you know me.)

I am not a Democrat or a Republican (I’m a registered Independent.) For the most part I do support police and military, first-responders, etc. I come from a military family and I will always support those who defend us with their lives. There have been times when certain officers have crossed a line and gone over to the bad place, and if you are a person of color, you know this. It breaks my heart.

Those on the far right might find themselves wanting to call me a snowflake liberal. Whatevs. If it helps you sleep better to put me in that box, by all means. Snowflakes are unique individuals, beautiful. I’ll take it. I DO care about people, I am a softy, no doubt. I love all people, want to see all people cared for and loved and supported, protected, and fed. If having a big heart and Big Love makes me a liberal, then call me that.

I am a writer with a fierce imagination. If I was a youngster in this day and age, they’d likely medicate me for my active mind and imagination. It’s a plate of spaghetti up there, I kid you not. I am ALWAYS thinking (which feeds into me not being able to sleep without some kind of sleep aid.)

I’m smart, but I’m a fish so don’t ask me to climb a tree. Don’t ask me about geometry but I am fascinated with physics and want to learn more. My “no likey maths” brain struggles with some of these things. I am certainly more of a right-brainer than a left-brainer (more creative, less mathy) but I am intelligent. I have an eye for color and design. I am highly organized at times, but can be more loosey-goosey when it comes to art. I have become a person who questions everything. I do have conspiracy theories but they may be different than most people’s.

Though most of my life people have treated me like a dumb blond, I’m actually a brunette. I’ve been underestimated and patted on the head hundreds of times, maybe thousands. But I am a woman, so there ya go. This is how they treat us.

On the whole, I am against abortion, however, I know people who have had them, I’ve sat with them and heard their stories and I don’t judge. Rape, incest, other real life problems factor in. For people who have never experienced crisis in their life, it’s easy to judge. I don’t do it. Also, the government shouldn’t be allowed to tell me what to do with my body.

White privilege is real. I never really understood it before I began to meet and know people from all walks of life, began to read about and hear their stories. Privilege is real. If you are not a person of color you cannot begin to imagine what life is like for one (neither can I). Many do not have the capacity to have empathy for anyone different from themselves. The color of your skin is an accident of birth, you had no choice in it. You’d better believe it.

I never ever look down my nose at the homeless, knowing that many of them had homes and families and so-called normal lives once, and then crisis hit and knocked them for a loop. It is not for me or for you to judge. (“There but for the grace of God,” etc., etc.) If someone told you once 20 years ago that they are all drunks and druggies and to be despised, time to re-think. Heaven forbid it should happen to you. Sometimes we learn lessons in the hardest of ways.

I believe firmly that this right-wing extremism thing is caused by people shutting themselves off from reality. They grow only so far, and then no more, refusing any and all new information. They read only one kind of book, watch only one station, surround themselves with people who are much the same as them. It’s cultish and dangerous, I’ve learned that well.

Now you know more about me. I am all heart, and that heart is broken these days. It is all just too, too much. I never thought I’d live to see such times.

It’s easy to just follow, to go along with what everyone else is doing, it really is. It’s hard to stop and say, “No more. I will think for myself. I will gather information and decide for myself.” It’s so hard, and at times very lonely. But for the first time ever, these last few years have taught me exactly who I am. I know exactly what I believe. (I know way less than I ever did in some senses… I no longer feel I know everything, that’s for sure. I am uncertain about a lot and that’s okay and as it should be. But I remain in a state of continued seeking, learning, and growing.) My mind and heart is open (if skeptical.)

I don’t know why I’m here, and I don’t want any more pat answers. But I am here and I am a writer, and so I will continue to do what I do as long as I can.

I love you, people. I really, really do. I hope you all, we all, remember our love and compassion, especially in such times.

Peace Out!

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Update and Prepping for the Holidays

I had to post again today because yesterday’s was so very melancholy, and, for now, I am feeling much better. I have a phone call or two to make later and hoping things go well, but for NOW I am feeling happier, more “normal” (whatever that even means.)

The nature of feeling anywhere on the spectrum of down and blue to depressed, is such that one has an extremely difficult time imagining that you WILL feel better. That’s one thing that is so heinous about it. Your brain and mind can convince you that life will never be better and that you will never feel better. And this can make things worse and bring about hopelessness to a greater degree. I wonder why that is. Sucky.

While I don’ necessarily feel better about the world at large, our human ability to compartmentalize and sometimes downright PRETEND that life is good, is a real thing.

I’ve always been a person that carries the weight of the world on my shoulders, like Atlas except not nearly so young, fit, and strong. Not sure why I do this, but it has always been thus. Maybe it’s part of the INFJ personality type, not sure. I have – often- too much empathy, think too much about the pain of others, and on a global scale that can get overwhelming. The times when I can back out of that a bit are precious. The times I can convince myself that I am indeed, at least for today, okay. That the world won’t end TODAY, and then breathe a sigh of relief.

Despite it all, trying to get into and stay in a spirit of Christmas, of love and peace. Trying to think about my family, of people all over the world quietly celebrating their various holidays and family time in whatever way they can. Love pressing on and pressing through. Hope remaining. I will cherish these times.

Worry for the world at large can and will resume at some point, but today, I choose peace. I choose a good mood. Joy in spite of it all.

(And all of this after a run-in with a spider that scared the bejeesus out of me and happened to attack (walk in front of me) when Hubs was outside and didn’t hear me scream and didn’t come to my rescue.) I had to be my own hero and take care of business, and I did, but man, I thought I’d never start breathing normally again and get my shoulders to go back down where they belong.

Enjoy this holiday season, friends! (Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.)

Peace Out!

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Nov 8 Life Continued

Of course, as often happens with me, my brain was abuzz with words for a blog in the wee hours of the morning, I had plans, I had goals for a new YouTube vid about writing. As the day began to progress, my excitement and inspiration began to wane.

I needed to do my nails so I did that, did the dishes and put some laundry in the washer and bye-bye to more inspiration. Then I cleaned out closets. And so it goes.

My better writing angels that were perched with glee on my shoulders seem to have vanished, giving up on me getting in front of the computer. Come back! I scream. I’m here finally! **Looks under the bed and all around but they are playing hide and seek.

Oh well. I’ll sit anyway because discipline is a thing. Sometimes we writers just have to show up when we can and hope for the best.

Been spending some time thinking about where to go next with my current novel project. I’ve set it up for some romance and a bit of thriller action, but I’ve got to get to the nitty-gritty of it. What specifically do I want to happen with this antagonist? Will work on that some today.

I’m getting used to a new computer, so that’s fun, learning which keys stick and what-not.

My art room is a hot mess. I dug out every painting I had stored anywhere in the house and they are laying about higgledy-piggledy. My “Lovely Lady” drawings are strewn everywhere. I’ve been working on updating my store here on the site and making sure it’s accurate.

I’ve all but given up on Facebook entirely. Social media all together, really. though I do enjoy browsing through the lovely poems and paintings on my Instagram feed.

I really hope our country can begin to heal now that the election is behind us. Politicians have gone a long way towards dividing us, egging us on against one another. It’s time to set aside differences and find humanity again. To focus on getting through this pandemic to the end of it, which I hope and pray will be sooner rather than later.

Once the virus is gone maybe we can get back to sitting down with one another and talking about things. I find when you do that, you often find that we are not nearly as far apart on how we think and feel than the politicians would have us believe. They thrive on creating discord between us and we need to wake up to their plots and refuse to be their puppets any longer. Life could be so good for us if we could just get back to love and care and stop listening to the talking heads. Let’s reach out, talk, love, heal, show compassion.

Next up, a little art, a little more writing, a bit more organization and cleaning. Whatever you get up to today, I hope it’s something that brings you peace. We are all overdue for some.

Peace Out, peeps!

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Life Catch-up (One Day at a Time)

Haven’t blogged in a while, been plugging away writing a book. (I actually have 2 in process but the latest one is my first non-fiction). Once these are done this will put me at 14 books written and published I believe, not counting the anthologies my publishing company published. It’s helpful to write these things out, keeps me motivated, keeps me running toward the finish line.

I never really need motivation or inspiration to write, (or to do art) but what I need is the motivation to SELL. This is where my biggest challenge lies. It has always been thus. 

My art journaling has only ever been for me (it’s therapy for me, big time), but I do have some acrylic on canvas items I need to sell. The home we are in currently isn’t large enough (a special lack of storage space) for me to keep piling up pieces, so this de-motivates me to paint on canvas. I gotta get a move on with this and soon. And, of course, I need to sell some books. I used to do book-signings, but haven’t in a long time. Maybe I need to consider lining up another one or two.

When it comes to art and writing, I seem to go in seasons, for a while concentrating on making art, then switching over to almost exclusively writing for a time, but for the most part I can say that I do both, as the spirit moves.

These days I am still feeling (I think I mentioned this once before) like I am emerging from a tunnel, a time of deep learning and change in my life, deep healing. Life changes. Epiphanies. I feel like I am emerging and calming immensely. I can only hope that the world around me takes a clue and does the same, and that this vaccine will come (though I won’t be the first to take it) and this virus mess can begin to leave and calm itself, too. 

I NEEEED to go out and eat at a restaurant with a friend, one where nobody has to wear a mask and everyone feels safe. I need that little bit of a social life I actually had (being a cocooning introvert already) but even I need to talk to another human sometimes. I actually look forward to my allergy shots so I can see other nice humans and interact for a moment or two. Enough is enough already. (Can I get a Woot Woot??)

Haven’t made one of my Writing Tips YouTube vids in a bit. I need to get to that, I’ve been having some trouble with my eyes, though. Waiting for it to calm a bit.

So, Bill Gates says that once 30 to 60 percent of Americans have taken the vaccine, it should stop it in its tracks. I know Bill knows money and I can only hope he surrounds himself with medical experts, (I would assume so) that advise him in such matters. I feel like overall, he is a pretty smart dude. (He has DT beat, though I always prefer my medical info come from medical people.) So now we wait for the vaccine. Billions of dollars are being spent on vaccines in many countries around the world, so it will be interesting to see which one comes to the forefront first, which companies launch them and when. Not all countries seem to want to even get through human trials before launching the vaccine, so that will be interesting to watch.

I continue to observe and take notes from my blanket fort.

I have begun spending less and less time on Facebook, because the idiocy and meanness I find there is just too damn depressing, and this is sad because I have friends I only see or hear from on there. Maybe once things get back to “normal” people will begin to act like sentient compassionate humans again. (Not holding my breath.)

“Hell is other people.” Jean-Paul Sartre

Not all other people, but, I think you get it. (You introverts do!)

So today there are some folks doing some work around our place and once they are gone, I will have a little brunch and watch some more Killing Eve on Hulu, then perhaps make some art on paper or in one of my journals, (I was very motivated by my lessons yesterday), then maybe this afternoon I will pull out the current fiction project and pound words for a bit longer.

Though I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m a bit tired, I am in general, feeling well. Ready for fall to come, ready for the vaccine to come, ready for the virus to go. Ready to face life today, (one day at a time). Til next time–

Peace Out

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We the People

Talking with hubs this evening about the constitution and how we are supposed to be a country for the people, ran by the people. Our voices were meant to be heard from the very beginning.

Setting aside for the moment that we came to this country and conquered and claimed it, when they got around to writing the constitution it was meant to be a document that ensured that the people’s voices would be heard, that we wouldn’t have to be oppressed or shut down or dominated without representation or even taxed without representation.

Oh how very far we have come.

I grew up in a small town and way before the internet and cell phones, so in retrospect, I think it seems like a somewhat isolated environment. Perhaps everyone from generations past feels this way. Their (our) whole world was our home, out parents, our little town, we didn’t know anything else. We knew what we were told. End of story.

Now here we are living in the Information Age. We get bombarded with information and data all damn day long, and to make it worse, we have a whole section of people who’s sole purpose is to put out fake news for us to wade through. It’s a lot of change in a very small amount of time. A lot to cope with.

Once upon a time we could be easily distracted and controlled. “Keep ’em busy working and trying to put food on the table, there will be no time or energy left to think about revolution.”

Monday through Friday we work, exhausted on the weekends, just wanting a bit of peace and quiet. Or some fun time or down time. Maybe church on Sunday. And Monday morning it starts all over again.

And this is life.

We are heading into a great time of change. We are in an age when we have more time to think, more time to find things to do that we enjoy. The world opened up for everyone with the internet, personal computers and cell phones. It was no longer just my little house on my little street in my little town. We could find out about the entire world with the click of a button. And then the shit really hit the fan. (Other people? Other opinions? Different people?? Ack!!)

America has been a busy and industrious country, staying so busy chasing the dollar that we didn’t notice that we forgot our voices and our hearts, that we are a country meant to be governed by us, you and me, every day average Joe’s and Janes. We have the power to change our country. Somewhere along the way, we’ve forgotten.

During this time when people care more about stopping the oppression of people than they even do their very lives (because of Covid-19 and gas-happy police), we are once again being forced to scream at the top of our lungs, to protest, to make our voices be heard. They’re pushing people back into a revolutionary mindset. Pushing people so hard and so far that they have no choice but to break or be broken, to fight or to die. To scream out the injustice at all costs. You can only hold someone down for so long, stand on their necks for so long, and then something is gonna pop. And what has really changed is nothing more than being able to now capture it on camera in real time. Post it quickly before it’s “lost.” No longer can we stick our heads in the sand and explain it away or justify it.

Either you stand for justice or you don’t. You stand for love and peace, or you don’t. You love your brothers and sisters in the black community and of every race, color, and nationality, or you don’t. No more ifs, ands, or buts.

The other day I blocked a gal on one of my social media pages for talking about how she was a Christian and she was sick to death of all of this black stuff. (Seriously,)

You stand for Jesus? WWJ-freaking D? I ask you. If you think Jesus is on board with racism then you don’t get it, I dare say. You don’t follow any Jesus I ever met, that’s for sure. There are many reasons I don’t align myself with the Christian church any longer, and these sorts of attitudes play a big part. (And because I despise labels and prejudice, I will say that likely not every single Christian feels this way.) But the church OUGHT to stand for justice, for freedom, for love, and I’ll say even standing up with a brother or sister, even one from a different race or religious background. Protecting them with your very life.

I could quote you scripture but I don’t play that game. (I quote this one, you quote another to back up whatever agenda you have.) If you stand for a god that stands for racism then I don’t follow your god. No loving person would. Period. I certainly refuse to follow a hateful one.

In our country, there are a couple ways we could amend the constitution and my brilliant hubby brought this up this evening. Ways that are not being tried or implemented. Political scientists are no doubt discussing these things, people who know and understand it all way better than I do.

We have power, our voices matter. At least they are supposed to. We’ve gotten incredibly lazy. We’ve grown used to violence and bi-partisan division, racism, strife, and all manner of craziness.

We are given a chance to vote a new person into the White House every four years. Personally I am appalled that we only get two people (really) to choose from, because only those with money will ever make it onto a ticket. Choose Republican or Democrat. We have a zillion choices of clothing to wear or ways to mix a latte’ but let’s just offer people 2 money-backed choices for the leader of the free world. I’ve always hated feeling like I sometimes have to vote for the lesser of two evils. But this is our fucked up system.

Sometimes it feels like there is no-one to vote for that isn’t crooked. And sometimes we just have to look closely at both major front-runners and make a choice based on our morals and ethics. Nobody is perfect, that’s the truth, but for me, someone who has been heard repeatedly saying things that are misogynistic, racist, bigoted, and above all, just plain idiotic, will never get my vote. Way back when, I knew nothing about him, (DT) but I began to learn as soon as he opened his mouth.

I know that DT knows how to make money. Maybe once upon a time people thought that was enough to make a good president. I really hope you don’t find that to be the only requirement for you. I will never understand the hero-worship of the dude, not as long as I live. Republicans seem to be willing to forgive absolutely anything these days. Geez, even the dudes on Fox News are beginning to back away from him, That should tell you something. But I don’t care if you’re a Republican or a Democrat, I want to know where your heart’s at. If you blindly follow your party, explain to me why? Justify it for me, because I don’t think you can.

Stop being a Republican or a Democrat and start being a human being with a heart and a mind of your own. If this happened all over, it would topple the bi-partisan system. I don’t believe there are enough people who think for themselves to do this yet, but one can hope. And for me, I also hope we will begin to get some strong female leadership in DC. But misogyny is as rampant as ever and the rich white dudes would likely never stand for it.

It’s time we found our voices again. Instead of standing for the guy with the most money maybe we could start thinking about what’s important again. Things like, standing for the oppressed. Dealing with racism and hatred based only on a person’s religion or skin color. Maybe it’s time to revamp our educational system so that people learn about compassion and empathy at least as much as they learn how to get themselves into the right neighborhoods and schools. Reading, writing, arithmetic, compassion and empathy 101. Yes, please. Teach kids to be kind and loving and how to change a tire, balance a checkbook, wash dishes, and kick ass when needed. (Not promoting violence, but self-defense needs to be taught.) Maybe a little Krav Maga or something after meditation class.

If you want to read more about the constitution, see the link below. Find your voice, good, loving, compassionate people of the world. Let’s run this sucker like it was meant to be run. Instead of MAGA let’s actually make America about its people again.

Peace Out

https://www.usconstitution.net/constam.html

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Precious Peace

Just chilling out today, went over to the beach for the first time since… a few days before lockdown in March. Ohmigoodness it was heaven. The sound of the waves and the wind was incredibly peaceful and good for my very soul.

Last night I kept “writing” an article or part of a future book in my head as I was trying to sleep and hate when that happens so much. They say, “get up and write it down before you lose it” which is great advice but I was just too tired. Now I’m trying to remember it all. Ah, such is a writer’s life I suppose.

I’m about 80% sure I’ll be writing a non-fiction book about life, my life, and boundaries in the near future. I have a lot to say. (I don’t know if anyone will care, but as we writers say, if it’s in you get it out!) It’s the only way to quiet my brain, get it all out and down.

This last week or so has been so peaceful. Best thing I ever did was back off the Facebook some, and even more than that, blocking and unfollowing people that stress me out constantly. I’ve been able to focus in on self-care and surround myself with people that think even a little bit more like me. It feels like a huge sigh. Trying to let my shoulders come back down where they belong instead of up around my ears all the time. Peace. Precious peace. I love it, crave it, can’t live without it.

Interesting to me how different people find their peace, and from what I’ve observed, many never do. Once you taste it though, you will have to make it a priority in your life. Unfortunately, it often requires- (you guessed it), firm boundaries around yourself and your life. Until I began to have boundaries for myself, I never understood fully how many people don’t have them, and have convinced themselves, (or someone else has convinced them) that it’s somehow wrong or sinful or mean to set rules around your life, to put the fence up. You’ll fence your yard but won’t protect your own heart and life. Stinky thinking.

Self-care is a bad word (or phrase) among many communities and people groups. “Thinking about yourself first is selfish.”

Wrong.

It’s absolutely necessary. If you are not whole and good and well, you are of no use to anyone else anyway. Or worse, you’re doing damage to them, or they’re doing damage to you, (and you’re letting them, because you’re NICE.) One thing I have learned is that the people who truly love and value you in your life will absolutely mind your boundaries and stay in your life and often respect you more for it. (Or, the ones who decide to go, you must let them go.) And some will. And some you will ask to leave, and that’s OKAY.

People will treat you exactly how you allow them to.

Just had to bold that one. Crucial.

The falsehood that we have to put up with being treated badly is one that has been perpetuated since the beginning of time. So many are treated as if they are worthless or simply worth less than others. And they’ve been treated that way for so long, they believe it and accept that it’s true. If you don’t value you, how can you expect anyone else to?? If you don’t know and understand your worth, you’ll never convince anyone else of it.

A boundary is simply saying, “No. You may come this far and no further. You may not come into my inner circle and criticize me or put me down or hurt me.” I was certainly one that never learned this as a child, and many weren’t and still aren’t being taught that it is okay and even necessary to say No sometimes. Children are taught to always listen to and obey adults. In my parent’s generation, it was taught in order to teach children respect. Respect is a very good thing. But in today’s world, we absolutely cannot allow our children out into the world without the skills to do everything they can to protect themselves. We have to do better at teaching and training them to recognize bad or wrong behavior, something or someone that feels “off” often is.

Many, if not most of us, could tell stories of times adults (other than our parents, or in some cases, it is the parents), such as a teacher or scout leader or someone in authority over us- treated us in an unacceptable way. We were also taught that you obey your teachers, elders always, upon fear of death. (Not literally, but you get the idea.) These falsehoods we are taught as children are the beginning of teaching us that we have no power or control over ourselves, our bodies, what happens to us. We’re not to stand up for ourselves or others. Always be kind, behave, be polite, be respectful. Well, yeah, most of the time, but certainly not always. There are times for a loud “No!” It’s necessary for proper health and safety.

In the last several years, I am learning to more automatically bring those walls up, (yes, some walls are good). For someone as sensitive and empathic and empathetic as I am, they have quite literally saved me.

Who gets in and who doesn’t? Well, that’s the question, isn’t it? And the answer will be different for each individual person. For me, anyone who is disrespecting me or putting me down, automatically gets the eject button and the walls are up. Anyone who would try to mock or shame me is out. Making fun-nope. Talking down to-Nope. Mansplaining, NO! Misogyny? No, no, Hell no. Go away, far, far away. I know who I am, I know what I deserve. I know what I will and will not allow into my life. Period.

That, my friends, is having boundaries. Let’s talk more about it.

Elbow rubs and blown kisses to you today, my loves. Peace Out!

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Short & Sweet

Daily (almost) blog

I didn’t blog at all yesterday but gonna let myself off the hook since it was Mother’s Day. I had a pretty great day (though it was a bit rainy here). We played games on the PS4, talked to family, etc. At bedtime I had one of those times when I got super-tickled about something weird I did or said and laughed myself silly, like could not stop laughing, had Bill laughing, it was hysterical. So that was fun. So glad he gets me when I crack myself up. Glad it cracks him up, too.

Life is so much less stressful when I don’t think about the virus mess so much. We do what we can do, and then I’ve been letting go of the rest. I tend to carry the burdens of the world sometimes, and I shouldn’t. Well, I can’t. Not for long. So, taking care of me and mine, doing our part to care and pray for others, donate, etc., then we just go on with doing our lives.

When I don’t bump up against the judgment of someone else, someone who knows nothing about me, or someone with limited perspective, I do really well. Lesson learned.

Whatever you’re dealing with today, I hope you make it through with a little peace, a little joy, a little patience, and lots of love.

Peace Out

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The Concept of Absolute Truth (a philosophical post)

This is my swirly thoughts about the concept of absolute truth. (I’ve not taken classes on this, it is based on my own thoughts, reading, observations over a lifetime, and, let’s face it, any philosophy is based on the individual’s experiences.)

A hundred years ago, think about what the world was like. Or two thousand years ago, or 500.

A person grows up in a family, in a community, in a particular area of the world, and that family and community teaches you throughout your life, a set of “truths” that are widely held (in your area, in your time in history, in your community or family) as absolute. Black and white. This is this and that is that. It’s just the way it is.

Consider someone who has grown up in a totally different area of the world than you, in a different point in history, a different family, a different environment entirely. They also were taught “This is truth” or “that is truth”. 

Do you think for a minute that these two groups of thoughts and beliefs are the same? Absolutely they will not be. You will find things that other “groups” believe in that are the same, ideas such as, family is important, this is how we seek God, this is how we treat people. Then there will be big differences. One person’s truth, that grew up in India in 1965 let’s say, is going to be very different than the person who grew up in 100 BC or 1978 or 2009. Because their environments, their families and traditions, all that their cultures held dear, has formed each one’s view of “truth.”

For me, I can only believe that “Absolute Truth” only encompasses the largest of broad things such as “the earth is round.” Realizing that for a long time, people everywhere believed it to be absolute truth that the earth is flat.

Most everyone NOW accepts that indeed, the earth is round. Most people agree that UP is UP and DOWN is DOWN. Gravity is real. Certain things we pretty much all agree on.

But the thirty-year old African American woman who grew up a world away from you and I, or the European child, coming into her teens, having been brought up in a totally different community, family, and environment, one must accept that the things they have been taught and likely will be taught to be absolute truth, will be different. Because what we believe is intricately and inescapably drawn from a combination of our backgrounds, where we were born, where and how we were raised, what we were taught to believe as a child and what we have learned for ourselves, out of our experiences and “learning” to be true for us.

So, we can conclude that the young men who were alive in 100 or 50 BC are going to have a completely and totally different view of many things than the woman in a remote tribe somewhere in the year 2000, or different than what you or I believe.

Today, in 2020, there are people all over the world and even my own city, that will argue with you until they turn blue and die about what truth is.

Truth has always only ever been, and only ever will be, a perspective arrived at based on where you grew up, when you grew up, what you were taught to believe, and your own experiences.

Outside of those things we (maybe to a huge degree) can agree certain things are true, such as oxygen is needed to live. The sky is blue. Obvious things, I would call them.

So when people talk about absolute truth, I shake my head and laugh. It’s a funny and interesting term to me. It’s an absolute truth that if we are born here on earth, at some point, we will die. That’s one of a very short list of things I believe to be “absolute truth”.

Your truth and mine absolutely are not the same, and when large groups of people try to take on each other’s truth, well, they must decide for themselves, is this something I genuinely know to be true? Do I agree with everything these people say and do, and if so, why, if I have not experienced these things and do not know them to be true? Do they make sense? Do they serve my or mankind’s best and highest good? Good questions, all.

I cringe when I mention “My truth” or “speaking your truth” and people laugh and scoff. They just don’t get it. Each one of us has our own list of “truths” that we hold dear, for whatever reason. And because we disagree on what those truths or belief systems are…

War. Murder. Fighting. Cults. Anger. Hatred.

We humans have a bad way of INSISTING that everyone else latches on to our own truth and accepts it as their own. INSISTS. And their heads explode when others do not. I am guilty of this myself.

If I have a truth that I hold dear, something that I know that I know that I know, because of my experiences or things I’ve learned, and even something that has been super hard-fought-for, and someone comes along and scoffs at it, it is angering to me. It is to everyone and anyone, I think.

And I guess the only reason I am writing about this is to 1) get my thoughts down about it and/or 2) to see if anyone else thinks about these kinds of super-deep things. If anyone even bothers with deep thought anymore.

I daresay, most people go through life adopting and adapting to the belief systems that are presented to them. Based on all of the things I’ve talked about here. It’s just what we do.

I want to encourage every single person to begin to think more broadly and openly on these things. To realize that your perspective (or mine) are not the only perspectives that are real.

To accept that other people have different experiences and that it is okay. Your truth and mine can be different, it’s okay. It’s really, really, okay. No need to go to war.

This is one thing I mean when I said in an earlier post that I feel as though I once saw life through a peephole (my limited perspective) and now I see it through a globe-sized hole. I still don’t fully see everything Big Picture, but I desire to do so.

If you grew up in a particular culture and those “truths” are dear to you, or adopted that culture, then I would just say, never forget to try and see things broadly, realize that we are very different and we do not have to be the same or think the same as people who are in or come from other backgrounds and experiences. WE DO NOT have to adapt and adopt other people’s truths. Keep your mind switched on and research and read and figure out for yourself what your truth is, and go ahead and hold it dear. But please stop insisting that everyone believe the same thing, it’s never going to happen and it’s always going to cause divisiveness. 

I guess that is my point and my conclusion. Think. Have compassion. Don’t adopt other’s views blindly. Do the deep work of digging out your own truth, then speak it freely and often. People won’t get it. Who cares?

Have a deep, thoughtful, wonderful, peaceful day.

Peace Out.

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Be Healthy, Behave

I saw an article yesterday (when I was looking outside of Facebook for news reports) about people out there who have made a living out of creating a website, getting advertisers to be on their site (this is how they get paid) and then they spend their full-time work days creating misinformation and putting it out there as real. Knowingly. It’s hard to believe we live in such a time, in such a world, where people benefit and live off of destroying other people. I won’t mention their names here, goodness knows I don’t want to promote one more person looking at this guy’s mess, but this dude took this woman and her family and totally decimated their lives by accusing them online of having started the coronavirus (Covid-19) outbreak. Even though the authorities and police have confirmed her innocence, it does not seem to matter and the police can do nothing. There are no laws for this.

He had hundreds of thousands of followers attacking these poor people. Their reputations are ruined. They don’t feel safe, can’t leave their homes (even after they CAN from isolating) for fear of being attacked.

I saw a story about a NC woman who is knowingly infected and she and her followers are taking to the streets to tell people they need their “freedom” and to get out there and protest for the opening of commerce now, and she is very militant about it. It’s real, people. This is the world we are living in.

Sigh. Good morning, friends. It is a stressful time to be alive. It’s enough to make me (I don’t know about you) crawl under the covers and hide.

I’m the kind of person who likes to take any action I can (even if it’s only taking to my keyboard) to try to bring about positive change in the world. But this…. This mess. People are so entrenched in their ways of thinking and refuse to be challenged. It’s unlike anything I have ever witnessed before. It feels like Mass Brainwashing and it scares me, I’m not gonna lie.

As for the aforementioned perpetrators, the ones making a living from defaming people, I’d be all for implementing laws about defamation, etc., that would cause these people, once they are identified, to be placed in shackles in the public square and let people walk by and throw tomatoes at them. Let’s bring that back. I bet it’d work.

My heart aches for this world. More than I ever thought I would live to see, people are forgetting about what’s important, latching on to some little thing and turning it into a full-blown cult-like agenda. I don’t understand. I never will. And don’t tell me people just need faith in God because a lot of the folks participating in some of the crazy behavior are self-proclaimed people of faith. I cannot express how sad this makes me.

People need love. They need real connection with real people. They need mental/emotional healthcare. This much is abundantly clear.

I’ve found that sitting with someone and having a coffee together and talking our thoughts through, even if we disagree, in an attitude of respect and humility, can work wonders. Before social media it’s what everyone did. That’s why people who disagreed with one another weren’t losing friendships over it back in the day, but now it’s just the thing to do, to blast people you disagree with and fight and yell and get ugly, and decide we can’t be friends.

I go a long way towards trying to discuss things calmly but when people start getting angry with me, calling me names, trying to publicly humiliate me, look out. Boundary walls are up and people are being shoved outside of them. I don’t put up with that. My peace and the energy I surround myself with, is very important to me. I will protect it and myself.

So, I am over here in my tiny little corner of my little world, plugging away at life and at trying to make sense of it all. Ultimately there is little I can do but try to encourage people to be kinder, to really look at broader views instead of a tiny narrow one. To base all they do out of love and compassion and empathy rather than furthering their political ideals and agendas.

The combination of social media (hiding oftentimes under Freedom of Speech) and politics is destroying it all, our peace, our friendships, our relationships, our sanity. I’m not playing anymore, people. I will not engage.

No-one, no matter how long I’ve known or loved them (family included) is going to be allowed to get me all riled up and upset and ruin my quality of life which is ever-so-precarious right now anyway. Boundary walls up and fully engaged, like a high-dollar alarm system.

If you feel the same or just like to follow me for whatever reason, (writing, art, poetry, friendship, whatever) then I hope you stick around. I hope you come back here and hang out and read my stuff. For those local, I hope one day we can meet and have coffee and discuss things with mutual respect and kindness.

Whatever you do, please take care of yourself and hold onto your sanity and your peace. Be healthy. Be kind. BEHAVE.

Peace Out.

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Blog from the Belly of the Beast

“If the world was ending you’d come over, right?” sings Julia Michaels. The song has deeper meaning than ever. I don’t personally believe the world is ending but it most definitely is changing. Mother Earth is catching a break and a breath in the middle of all of this.

I believe  that God or Spirit or the Universe (whatever you choose to call it) tries to speak to us. We’re continually being stretched, there are lessons we are supposed to learn. For a while I’ve been banging the drum about walking away from dogma, from man-made boxes and labels. The most glaring examples are found in religion and politics. You MUST pick a box, we are told, then sign your life away to everything that box stands for. Everyone outside this box and those in other boxes are the enemy. We must stay away, lest we “catch” what they have. And ultimately, name-calling, villifying, and eventually murder and war. What little predictable ants we are.

I will never go back to that way of thinking. I get called all sorts of things, and sometimes on social media, I feel as though I look behind me as I run and I am being chased by throngs of people carrying labels and boxes. They fling them at me. “Liberal! Socialist! Hippie! Right-wing nut-job!” All depending on what I’ve said that has set them off.

I used to (and sometimes still) try to explain my mindset to others, but it always, every time, leads to the labeling and name-calling, judging, writing me off. There are a precious few who seem to love me in spite of who I am, not sure anyone loves me for exactly who I am. Maybe God and my hubs. Maybe a precious few. So for this “hippie” who has learned many tough lessons on how to be fiercely independent and deal with being, at times, all alone with myself and my thoughts, it’s just one more thing. One more thing that labels me “different”.

This pandemic is forcing others to sit still, to think, to ponder, maybe go inside and ponder deeper things (which is what I spend most of my time doing.) Fear becomes a monstrous beast, and even those claiming to be the most faithful are running scared. Hoarding. Taking care of “Number One” and not thinking about the needs of others. If you do voice concern for others, out come those label-makers… Look out!

We have the people who are doomsday preppers, totally in their element right now, driven by the beast of fear. Many in denial, can’t possibly be true, can’t possibly affect ME, can’t be happening, I’ll ignore it and it’ll go away. Then there are the young or just plain frightened, the broken, completely confused, curled up in a fetal position, waiting for the next shoe or belt to fall. They’ve always believed the world a harsh and scarey place and this latest madness only confirms it.

I’ve seen them, though. The calm, the peaceful, the ones who see what’s happening full well, and rise to the occasion. Those who reach out, no matter the cost. If I have to shelter at this time in a box, I’ll move in with these people. They’re out there helping people online, or working as nurses or doctors. Driving across the country or filling shelves for us. Checking out groceries when they’d rather be anywhere else. They write things about how to calm ourselves, give Yoga and meditation lessons, art lessons, do live online meet-ups so we can still find some way to huddle together. They’re not being positive because they’re in denial, they see the bigger picture. That people need people right now. They need the voices of calm reason and hope and love. I’ll be in that number, I’ll be a helper in any way I can.

As soon as I realized that going about my business could mean that I was spreading the virus, even if I had no symptoms, I began to re-organize my life. I learned the phrase “Flatten the Curve” and I know that the faster we isolate ourselves, the faster we will all be over this. Other countries have been overwhelmed and doctors have had to sit and watch patients die because their resources were stretched too thin.

It’s a surreal time to be alive on planet earth.

But there have been many such times in history, times of crisis. Times when those around you get to see who you really are. Each morning we choose fear or hope. We choose who and what we will be, not just for ourselves but to the world at large.

And finally, here are some Introverting tips from a Pro:

* Make lists. Chore lists, and fun stuff lists.

*Read. You no longer have an excuse not to.

*Stretch, Meditate and/or pray, exercise

*If you can get sun while isolating, do so. It helps everything.

*Grab some paper and write or draw or journal. It can be very helpful to put pen in hand and just let it rip. Intuitively creating is at its best when you’re alone.

*Listen to your favorite music. (Dance. Yes, dance.)

*Netflix and chill (or whatever you have to watch.)

*One Day at a Time (Don’t get caught up in what-ifs and tomorrows, take care of right now, today.)

*Choose Love. Choose Hope. (Oh and please, put away the label-maker.)