I break my heart and dissect it each night.
The evening is when I reflect on life, on my soul
And often find myself writing my life
Instead of sleeping.
I ask myself continually what it is I need from others
And I know the answer is nothing
I know this in my head
But my heart… my heart goes on longing
Like a ship-captains’ bride awaiting the return of its lover from sea
But he never comes.
The longing becomes an ache.
I go on.
I function and even find happiness
Until I sit and reflect again,
Again with insomnia, asking
Always asking
Just what is it?
What does the heart want?
What do you expect?
Is it seriously total love all day every day
From every corner of the world?
Are you that needy? If so why?
I ask my heart these things
And during the daylight
I have all the answers.