• I don’t care if you like me. For most of my life I’ve been a people-pleaser. I’m a gal who learned good manners from my parents. Always be kind and good to people. Good lesson. But it’s taken too far when you get it in your head that you must make everyone your friend. Subconsciously I had it in my head that it was my sacred duty to make sure everybody knew and understand what a good friend and good person I am and I thought others would be crazy not to jump on board my friendship train and become a major part of my life. It wasn’t designed to be that way. Now I understand that I can love all people but I only want to have a handful of them in my life. There are a precious few that I feel a true connection with, and they are my tribe. I have no time or passion for trying to force friendship where it does not exist.
• Keep Calm and Carry On. I used to go at a much faster frenetic pace and I just don’t anymore. I’ve gotten off the hamster wheel, but on the treadmill. Even when I wasn’t physically running crazy before, my mind was, and I felt a pressure to go, go, go and get tons of stuff done. I still have a desire to work hard and leave something of myself behind once I’m gone, but with age comes an awareness that being frantic doesn’t make one, necessarily, more productive or lead to a better, happier, or more joy-filled life. It can lead to a more stressful life. I take each day as it comes and try not to get overwhelmed about anything. I take more time for myself (self-care) and as a result enjoy a much better quality of life.
• Family First. I love my family and desire to be there for them whenever possible. Now that my own children have flown the coop (or nest) I am so much more aware of how important time with them truly is. My husband and family (and that number keeps growing!) are my top priority.
• Art is Life. I take time to paint, write, and listen to my favorite music. It is more of a necessity than only a pleasure these days. Things of beauty and great talent elevate me to new heights. Poetry, books, artwork, plays and movies… they mean more to me now than ever before. By and large, people don’t take enough time to appreciate and take in the beauty that is found amongst this chaotic mess called life. My current schedule allows me to do this, perhaps more than some others are able, but I find it immensely worthwhile.
• I do not separate the sacred and the secular. I have a life. It’s made up of spirituality, work, art, and many, many things. I do not have a “church face” and a “home face” and a “friend face,” I just have a face. My life isn’t in waffle boxes. Everything I do is sacred to me, whether going to a church service or preparing a meal for a loved one. When I write, it is sacred to me. When I paint. When I spend time with friends. It’s all the same to me. I am not a Christian author, I’m an author with a spiritual journey. I’m an author. I’m not a Christian artist, I’m an artist who looks for God in all things. I have come to loathe trite labels that put people in boxes and separate out areas of one’s life. Ultimately, I’m just who I am, and that’s just as it should be. I would never write or paint “to” Christians only. I have no tolerance for Country Club Christianity that sets itself up as an alternate society. I believe we are all God’s creation and we ought to stop putting up walls that we think may keep us “unspoiled” when all it does is isolate and push others away. Instead we ought to become an integral part of the world with our fellow humans. If one hopes to impact the world in any capacity, one cannot live in a closet.
• Happiness/Joy is a Choice. Just as marriage (or staying in a marriage) is a choice, so also is your own happiness. It is not a place or destination. It is something you carry around with you. If you have mess (baggage) to work out, get it done because it will kill your joy. Deal with your past. Make amends. Give and receive forgiveness. Once you’ve done that, let it go. I’ll say it again. Let. It. Go. Living with guilt or shame or unforgiveness is a joy killer. If you need help, seek it out. A friend, priest or pastor, psychologist or counselor… any of these are great resources to help you unpack your baggage and get on with the business of life.
• Health is everything. If you allow your physical body to fall apart, you won’t have a happy, joy-filled life. You take care of your kids, your home many other things, but often ignore your own “shell” and let it fall into disrepair. I understand that we cannot help some things in this toxic world, but there is MUCH that is within our power to control when it comes to our bodies. Yes, we will age, and things won’t be as firm as they once were, but we decide what we eat, how much, and when. We decide if we are going to prioritize exercising our bodies to keep our heart, lungs, and muscles functioning. We decide. These decisions determine a lot about our energy and well-being. Step it up. Take responsibility. You’ll never regret it.