Today I felt compelled to write a thing to a person, and I didn’t regret doing it, but always wonder where it will land and how it will be received. Trying to be real and vulnerable and just throw out there-who you are and how you feel-it really doesn’t get easier. I guess it’s easiest when I don’t think at all about how it will be perceived, but it’s hard for me to be that way, not when I care. But I have always, probably, needed to care a little less. (Especially about what others think.)
Strangers that I have zero connection to?? No problem, don’t give the smallest of fucks. But people I care about? It’s a bit harder. This is one of the larger issues of my life when it comes to communication and relationship. I WANT to just be real and me, and I also want people to always “get” what I’m saying, and that really just isn’t even realistic. I don’t like everyone, so why would I want or expect that everyone (even those I like) would like me back–all out there, just as I am.
Life. What a concept. Beam me up, Scottie.
But I guess for now, it beats the alternative. (Unless or until I really CAN be beamed up to another planet.) But gonna try and not think about it, and go on, back to the business of being me. Managing my life, the best I can.
Peace, peeps!