Having been raised very conservative, then being out in the world on my own and studying, looking at the world with my own eyes (and now being in my 50’s, meaning I’ve seen stuff, experienced stuff, etc.) the following are my own personal conclusions/views on feminism. (We all have very different lives and experiences, so feel free to disagree, but do so kindly, please.)
I love my parents but they were from a different time, a unique era. There are many values that they taught us kids that I still hold dear today. But the world, at least for me, 30 years ago, was a very different place. The internet has changed everything. One way it has changed us, is that we now have access to so much information that we never used to have. It was quite easy pre-internet to defend certain views and ways of thinking when I was cocooned in my tiny little world.
Back in the old days, it was very common for people to grow up sort of inheriting their parent’s belief systems and political views. I certainly followed that path for a very long time. Now I’ve seen more of the world, met more people, and have gotten a broader view of things, most certainly some of my thoughts, beliefs and opinions have changed some. Morphed.
So, about feminism. Growing up I was only shown the perspective that conservative Republicans were always right and liberal Democrats were always wrong. Period. We didn’t really stop and say “let me look at each issue from every side and determine how I feel” but it was more like, if you are THIS than you must believe THAT. This thinking still holds true in large part today. (BTW, I don’t play that way anymore. I think for myself.) Choosing a side and standing by it even when you’re wrong, is all that is wrong with the world today.
I’ve experienced first-hand a lot of abuse, verbal for the most part, but not always, by men and boys over the years. I’ve been set aside, pushed down, told to shut-up literally and figuratively by men, told that if I believe in God I must keep quiet, play the meek, mild mouse, my opinions don’t matter. I’ve been taken advantage of too many times to number by the male sex. I’ve been payed less, promoted less, and listened to less because I am a woman. This is my truth.
Having said all that, I like men, as a whole. I love my brothers and my dad (imperfect as they are sometimes) and we are all imperfect. I love my husband. I believe that men and woman are so intrinsically different and would never want anyone to treat me “like a man”. (Outside of equal pay, equal respect and dignity, etc.) I feel that women and men can often bring different talents and gifts to the table. If we were taught to respect one another and work together, we would be unstoppable.
I see something I like in the current generation—the ability for men and women to work together and be friends in a respectful and dignified relationship, outside of anything sexual or romantic. As I said, I’m in my 50’s and I can state categorically, I’ve really never seen this happen before in history. I’m loving it.
For the first time I have male friends that aren’t constantly being inappropriate with me in one way or another. (One of those ways is to distance themselves from me because obviously we can’t be trusted to be friends and not jump in the sack together.) For myself, I have a bit more self-control than that, thanks.
But I still have friends that are male that continue to speak and act in very disrespectful and misogynistic ways. But ya know what? They were raised that way, taught that way. That doesn’t excuse it, but I do have compassion for the modern male, trying to navigate this brave new world.
I’ll make a list for you guys, if you’re struggling and feel as though you are afraid to speak to women at all these days.
1) If you wouldn’t want it said to your mother/wife/daughter/sister, don’t say it. (Unless or until you are in a mutually agreed upon romantic relationship, then the flirtiness may commence.)
2) Take the time to get to know women. They are people, too, not walking vaginas. You may just find you actually like someone and that they know stuff and have things to say.
3) Give woman (and all people, even of a different race, culture) their dignity and respect. Simple. Easy.
I think if you followed just these 3 easy rules, you’ll do great.
And if you’re wanting to know what my current political affiliation is, I don’t follow either party. I think for myself.
