US

 

Once I needed you

Because I needed someone, anyone

But now I need you

Because of you, who you are

You’ve proved yourself to me

Time and time again

I thought I loved you for you

But I loved you for me

I was that shallow

Not fully understanding self or even need

And over the years

You showed me

You

And I finally understood

That you are more than I ever knew

Not just that you love me, too

But that you get me

And you’re honest

And true

And such a good soul

And then the changes came

Life happened

And here we still are

Still together

Still you and me

Still us

And you’ve always been the steady one

The straight line to my squiggles

Always there

A rock

A mountain

And I, the child, learning to walk and run

Learning who I’d become

A storm next to a sunny day

And the storm still rages

Though calmer now

With focus as well as intensity

And you’re still there with me

You’re there

You’re here

We’re here

We’re us

To stay

To this day

 

 

Falling in Love, Daily

I fall in love, daily. Not in a strictly romantic sense, in fact, not at all, but it’s more of a soul connection. I meet people and I feel a soul-tingling sensation, (male or female). Something inside me leaps when I meet certain people. It’s almost as if we were cut from the same cloth or that we knew each other in a previous life. Or that we were meant to know each other in this one.

I feel sure that 90% of the time the other person has no idea, nor would they always feel the same connection to me. It’s one of those things I think deeply about sometimes. What is that? What does it really mean?

I’m a sensitive, I know this, so maybe it’s no more than being extraordinarily aware of other souls; of being excited when my soul connects in some area, with another. It’s always oddly disconcerting to me to realize that not everyone does this; experiences this. It used to be shocking to me that others didn’t always feel the same towards me, but I’ve grown used to it by now.

Of course, to explore both the yin and the yang, there are times when I meet people and I’m immediately turned off or turned away by them, too, but this doesn’t happen as often. I discern certain levels of brokenness in some, and it’s the kind of brokenness that I know intrinsically, I can’t influence them for good, they will hurt me, and I should walk away.

We live in a world where there are so many walls around our souls, so much STUFF blocking the way. We’re so guarded. These walls, this stuff, does not lend itself to falling in love in this way with others, with connecting this way.

Others find me different, intense, tightly wound, and I have to admit, they’d be right. I scare people. I’ve come to realize this, too.

A soul wandering the shores of this world with their walls down is different. Not that I’m totally there–is anyone ever? But I like connection. Time and circumstance has taught me to be very careful about who I trust and who I connect with, but even with this knowledge, I still smile inside when I meet someone new and my soul jumps a little.  I think I like it.