Emotions are for Real, ya know, like Emoticons

Just wanted to say a word (or several) about emotions today. I feel like we are taught, or at least many of us, from a very young age to stuff those things in. Emotions are relegated to a box, either positive (acceptable), or negative (unacceptable).

I’m here today to stand up for being ticked off, sad, frustrated or flustered.

It’s not about the emotions, after all, it’s about what you do with them. I used to label and stuff, label and stuff… it’s exhausting. I’m gonna call some of you out and say that some of my own friends are longtime stuffers. Stop it. Stop feeling guilty (another feeling!) about having emotions. We were created with them, weren’t we? Then the key must be knowing what to do with them.

For many years of my life I would get migraine headaches when I was upset because I was trying so hard to keep everything in and not cry or scream or let anyone know I was having a (Heaven Forbid!) negative emotion. Somewhere in my thirties I realized this and determined that if I needed to cry I was gonna cry, dad-gummit, consequences be damned. Oh, it was so freeing. To be at a funeral or watching a sad commercial on TV (ya never know with me) and just let the tears flow when they wanted to, well, that was one of the most liberating experiences of my life. The migraines stopped.

I don’t think it’s cool, necessarily, to throw yourself down and have a fit worthy of a three-year-old, but hey, maybe, (but maybe not in public). Do what ya gotta do though, let those puppies out. Like anything caged up and yearning to be free, emotions will be very unhappy in their box and will get back at you by way of tension headaches, migraines, ulcers, bitterness, just all sorts of fun things.

You want to experience personal growth? Experience your emojis. Don’t just post them, live them.

There are those in my life that I’ve come in contact with that seem to think (especially if you have a spiritual life and believe in a higher power) that one must be ALWAYS SUNNY (like Philadelphia??) always smiling and laughing and upbeat.  (Obviously I’m not very on board with that.)

Taking physicality out of the equation, there are three things I’ve always been called throughout my whole life, long as I can remember. I’ve come to terms with them and realize they are very true.

I am weird. (Yes, different, goofy, free-spirited, march to the beat of a different drum, yada-yada.)

I am REAL. (I do not put on airs-whatever that means) and what you see is what you get. I don’t get along well with people who are otherwise tempered. If you’re wearing a mask, keep on stepping, I don’t have time for that.

And 3rd, I am intense. Don’t let my sometimes sloth-like demeanor fool you, this mind is going 1,000 miles a second all the time. It never shuts down, never closes for inventory, doors always open, no cover charge any time. I haven’t slept (naturally) in…. how many years? Maybe 35? I always have to take something, Benedryl, or Something to aid me in sleeping because if not my mind never shuts off and I never sleep and I’m a tired cranky-pants all the time.

So, in conclusion, I’m Really Intensely weird. Or something.

Anyway, don’t you think they should have a REAL emoticon???

Feel all the feels, peeps. It’ll do ya good.

Are Perfectionism & Art Compatible?

I’ve been thinking that there are times when perfectionism is a gift but a lot of times it feels more like a curse. Ultimately, perfectionism is caused by a need to control something or anything or everything.

When I sit in front of a canvas I have learned to turn off any need for perfectionism and think a little less. I like to let the subconscious take over and paint on mostly instinct. It’s one of the few times in my life when I feel like I truly just let go and BE. I’m totally in the moment. Maybe that’s why it’s become such a passion of mine.

 

Welcome to the new site!

I began writing on more of a full-time basis in ’09 and was blessed to be able to write several books, open an independent publishing company with my husband and partner and help others on their writing journey as well.

A few years back after dealing with some health issues, I found that my creative juices began to flow away from full-length book writing and I began to do more  poetry. (I am planning a book of all my original poetry to be published in probably about two years’ time.)

Not too long ago I revisited something that had been a more peripheral part of my life and creative journey: painting with acrylics. I grew up with an extraordinarily talented older brother (all three are extraordinary in their own way) but one of them was an amazing artist.

Although the written word has always been my path with creativity, as long as I can remember I have enjoyed abstract art and impressionism with a sort of intimidated awe.

I was afraid of the canvas.

Colors and shapes have always spoken to me, but until recently, I just didn’t have the nerve to try my own hand with painting. I knew my creativity was about to take a new direction, and with the encouragement of some friends and family members, I finally faced the blank canvas.

I could not have imagined how I would take to it. My first attempts were not stellar, but I finally got over the need for perfection right out of the chute, and just began to play with colors and designs.

I have such a passion for it now that when I’m not painting I’m thinking about painting. I think, eat, sleep and breathe painting (when I’m not writing poetry).

People grow, evolve, and change all throughout their lives, facing new challenges and dreaming new dreams. I’m excited to pursue both my love for the written word and the thrill of splashing vibrant colors onto surfaces and molding and shaping them into “words” of their own.

I’ve posted some of my older links, trailers and articles for anyone interested, but I hope you enjoy the new website. Feel free to look around and stay a while. (And who knows what direction my creativity will go in the future, but it will be fun, that I know.) Follow your bliss!!

Pam

Twinkle Lights

 

Something about the white and the light

The shadows they cast, never the same twice, like snowflakes

They’re joy and prom night and weddings and parties on the deck

They’re childhood but the best of it, the kind you really wish you’d had

Laughing at you or with you at every joke you’ve ever heard

Drawing the best thoughts and feelings from deep inside like water from a well

It’s impossible to be sad around them as they fully complete their mission

And a lesson we learn: do what you do, be what you are, shine, chase away the dark

 

They stir me, every time

A Place

I see it when I close my eyes
Between wake and sleep
A faraway place where pain is absent
And time is not.
Light and color redefined
The unseeable now seen
The indescribable comes to life.
Love fills every pore and peace
Floods the mind and soul.
There is that place, I have glimpsed
And upon waking mourn the loss of it.